So, I met a man 18 months ago who wanted domination. He was nice enough and he emailed me last year wanting another booking but it never happened as I was too busy doing other things. I would have seen him again, but it just didn't happen.

He emails me again at start of April this year asking whether he could take me out on a date ... yeah, one of those  I didn't reply of course.

Then two weeks later, he emails again apologising if his last email was unwanted. He knew it was out of the blue. I replied this time and said I was confused because I thought he had a family. He said he did but his situation has changed. I didn't reply.

He then emails again and said he still wanted to see me. He then gives me his full name which is quite distinct. He tells me to look him up on Facebook as he is who he says he is. That is what swayed me a bit, he trusted me enough with that info.

He persisted and persisted until I eventually called his bluff. 'If you want to come and see me, fine. I'm free tonight.'

So he did. He was the perfect gentleman. Nicer than how I remembered. We just talked and I really enjoyed his company. He put absolutely no pressure on me at all. He mirrored my body language completely, so I did feel like he genuinely liked me.

I see him again 48 hours later. He tells me more about his kinks. I initiated a kiss and a cuddle. I could tell he was trying to hold himself back. We didn't have sex as he said he would have to leave shortly afterwards and it wouldn't be right. He had to get home to feed his dog.

He said he's had an awful few months and is selling his house to escape the memories. He text me throughout last weekend and on Sunday he told me he had a wobble and still has upsetting days. I replied saying I hoped he was okay.

On Monday his house was due to go up on the market. He text to say he was up at 4am getting everything ready before he went back to work. I replied and then nothing.

On Tuesday I text him to say I hope everything went okay yesterday and that it was a better day for him than on Sunday. Within an hour he replies and says he's going to go for a while. He doesn't want to speak to anyone as he's just hit rock bottom and he doesn't know what to do.

He seemed genuine but because of how we met I feel played. I'm probably never going to hear from him again. I know a lot of men struggle with their mental health and this is probably why he reached out to me in the first place on some sort of rebound. I have no idea whether he did put his house up for sale.

I swore I would never date a client, past or current and this is why. I have a hard time trusting people in general anyway.

I feel like I've been ghosted but technically I know I haven't because of his last message. If he ghosted me, I'd still be waiting for a reply and would be thinking that he's well and truly had me over.

I need to listen to myself more initially and not ignore the red flags.

Does anyone think he's genuine?

You’ve crossed the line with a client. I’ve done it myself and lived to regret it and I went a lot further than you did.

In my opinion, nothing good can come of a personal relationship with a punter.

I would block all contact details.

(In answer to ‘Have you been played?’ I would say he’s got whatever ‘weird’ outcome he wanted but as a client, they always want something)

Honestly, move on.

IDK so don't take this as advice I just want to share so of my own long experience

The men always want something for themselves - it's always about them and their fantasy of you.... If you are happy with that, then go for it. Just know they are always "using you" in some way (even as an emotional vampire sucking your emotional empathy) but if you also get something out of it then that's up to you.

Also, about giving you his real details.
Most of my clients give me their real details straight away so I can find their Facebook, linkedin, the company they own, etc. Having their real identity isn't unusual, it doesn't signify any special level of trust.

I would avoid crossing the line with clients.. I have got to know many that I really like (as people/friends), but I see that they think of me only or centrally as my job as if that is the main thing about me when to me it is the smallest thing.

Thanks everyone for your replies.

I seem to be a target for men like this in every aspect of my life. I suspect it's because my personality comes across as being genuinely nice and it's the only thing they see. He said he fancied me, but because he communication this year came so out the blue, I knew something must have gone on with him to make him want a shoulder to cry on rather than anything else.

His house is on the market, I have proof of this now. It went up on Thursday. Stunning property, so he must be merticulous in this area of his life.

A couple of things struck me when I met him. He's into swinging and there's literally a club down the road from my house where he goes. He wanted me to ask him loads of questions about it and go with him. He said he wasn't bothered if he knew my real name ... how can he be bothered about getting to know the real me then? And wanted to know if we could hang out as friends while he booked me occasionally.

He seems mixed up for sure. It took me 3 months for me to agree to see him again, partly because I was so sure he'd disappear before he saw me. But it was another red flag of how desparate he was to see me after all this time. That for me was the biggest indication something was amiss.

I believe you need to work on your boundaries asap if you want to stay sane in this line of work, they seem a bit blurred. As per this tosser he's one of those "head fu-cks" energy vampires that will happily suck all your energy for free in exchange ofnothing if you let him.

Block block and spend that energy in the gym.

Yep, we all go through our vulnerable times, predators can smell it from a mile away and they will pursue you. That's when we get into dreadful situationships or abusive relationships. Now that you've figured this out slam the door on this one, lock and throw the key to the river.

Tap yourself on the shoulder. Congrats you've saved yourself a massive headache.

Honestly he might be genuine but it also sounds like he’s very emotionally messy right now and that could end up hurting you more. Trust your gut, you saw the red flags for a reason. I wouldn’t blame yourself though it’s normal to hope someone is being honest. Just protect your peace first !!!

Abusers and pick up artists mirror body language.
I think you had a lucky escape.
He will probably be back to mess more, and you shouldn't be there for him.
Best advice from many girls: block.

Yes, you got played. Once a client always a client. Always charge men for your time because as you can see they don't have any issues with wasting yours.