SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Gypsy on 03 July 2020, 11:24:04 am
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Oh my God, I am fuming! :FF
I have a regular who verges on being mildly to moderately annoying. There's a huge age difference but I am nice to him as he's loyal. But over the year I've had to decline telling him my real name when he asked and there have been other times where I feel he's tried to take advantage.
But he seems to take my boundaries with good will. He also excessively texts me too, sometimes about ridiculous things. This week the latest text from him was to tell me that he'd got a text from his mobile phone provider telling me that his free texts have run out and did I think it was to do with lockdown? ::) ::)
How am I supposed to know? I think he thinks I'm a friend despite the huge age gap, even though I've told him nicely about my boundaries. I was careful of offending him though in case he spits his dummy out and I suppose because of the global situation I have put up with more than usual.
But when I answered his latest text I said my phone is a PAYG so texts cost me anyway, that's another reason why I like to keep them at a minimal. I didn't think there was anything offensive about that as I wouldn't have said anything if I did, but he's taken the huff and spat his dummy out and told me he's longer seeing me.
I know what you're all going to say and normally I wouldn't bother as there is always someone else, but with the current climate I don't know whether that will be the case.
He was a man who despite me telling him otherwise thought this job is my hobby, I give out my personal number to everyone and tell them my life story ::) ::) I also respond to every text day or night no matter what the time is as I have nothing better to do.
God, I hate men like this! :FF :FF
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This is too involved, you don't need it and I would just leave him to go on his merry way.
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This is too involved, you don't need it and I would just leave him to go on his merry way.
I know, you're right, I will. I actually still can't believe he turned this round onto me!
He's the one in the wrong, not me. I have remained professional at all times. I'm half expecting an apologetic text later on but these men never learn as this situation has proven. If he does get in contact at a later date, I shall either ignore or tell him that he is no longer welcome depending what mood I'm in.
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There are ALOT of these kinda guys around. It's really frustrating...
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There are ALOT of these kinda guys around. It's really frustrating...
Tell me about it! It's infuriating! It's one of my main pet hates with this job. That and safety ::)
Seriously thinking of re-evaulating this job and if I can get another income from another self employed idea then I'm only going to see people I actually like ::)
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Tell me about it! It's infuriating! It's one of my main pet hates with this job. That and safety ::)
Seriously thinking of re-evaulating this job and if I can get another income from another self employed idea then I'm only going to see people I actually like ::)
The other thing to do is detect this earlier, stop it sooner - client either 'gets it' (some do), or doesn't book again. Saves a lot of energy drain and frustration.
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The other thing to do is detect this earlier, stop it sooner - client either 'gets it' (some do), or doesn't book again. Saves a lot of energy drain and frustration.
I thought I had after making my boundaries clear several times. He's a piece of work and (another) creep anyway ::)
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I thought I had after making my boundaries clear several times. He's a piece of work and (another) creep anyway ::)
Comes like a blow when someone says one thing, does another.
Had to block a long term regular last year, it was just one thing after another and had really started years ago. I'd let a pattern of him having a floating start time build up, and go on for too long. Even worse when the person asks you to trust them, or questions why you don't, but the clangers. ::)
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I had one like this and it affected our bookings cause he’d already drained the life out of me all week. I used to take hours to txt him back, I even made up that I had got a civvy job so I could ‘disappear’ for a few days a week, told him I’d lost my phone, you name it I had said it. Looking back now though I should have told him to leg it years before I did but he was worth a lot of money. You might be better letting him go Gypsy cause I blew my top in the end and it didn’t work out well but the peace afterwards was great!
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I use to have this regular, half hour booking every two weeks. When first started coming he kept asking real name it was like having a parrot in the room. It's like it's not real if they don't know your real name. You have to have two ready because they won't believe the first one you give them. During bookings he would be saying my "real" name and I would forget and i would be thinking what's he going on about.
He use to over stay his welcome and you would have to practically shove him out the door. But he was such an easy job a real one minute wonder.
Quite a few times he came late and asked if he could stay the night. HALF HOUR BOOKING!!!!!!
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This issue is something I believe to be one of the worst aspects of this work and to be honest, I find them all the long term regs to become this way....
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I agree.
That's why people tour away from a single location.
You feel "stuck" with the same old ...,
who can become "that way".
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I get this so much with regulars and they want more attention than my friends do. I prefer married guys because they seem less likely to message unless it's to arrange booking. Single younger guys get clingy. I wish I could tour. I have a client next week and I have a feeling from just our first booking that he is one of those that wants to build a relationship outside of bookings. He was one of those nervous guys who wants a regular he feels comfortable with and like a friend he can spend time with .
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The worst experience I’ve had in this regard is with young guys. They don’t seem to have it drilled into their tiny brains that just because their mother told them they’re gods gift doesn’t make it so. It’s why I stop accepting the type of clients that say things like “I’m quite attractive and young you might want something with me etc..” they’re always the worst fuckers for pushing your boundaries and becoming overbearing quickly and don’t seem to realise that what I’m doing is providing a service. I’m not listed on a dating app I’m listed in an escort directory but obviously some of these idiots can’t understand that the two are mutually exclusive. I don’t want a boyfriend and I enjoy what I do, I don’t need you to take care of me. Go download Tinder you knobs and stop bothering me. :FF
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The worst experience I’ve had in this regard is with young guys. They don’t seem to have it drilled into their tiny brains that just because their mother told them they’re gods gift doesn’t make it so. It’s why I stop accepting the type of clients that say things like “I’m quite attractive and young you might want something with me etc..” they’re always the worst fuckers for pushing your boundaries and becoming overbearing quickly and don’t seem to realise that what I’m doing is providing a service. I’m not listed on a dating app I’m listed in an escort directory but obviously some of these idiots can’t understand that the two are mutually exclusive. I don’t want a boyfriend and I enjoy what I do, I don’t need you to take care of me. Go download Tinder you knobs and stop bothering me. :FF
I never, ever get this with younger guys. It's always significantly older men. This one who my post is about has to be in his 80's. And I'm 35 :-X :-X
He has always been on the sleazy side and had a career with a position of trust over young people which I'm sure he will have abused. He has the personality type and isn't used to being told no ::)
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I use to have this regular, half hour booking every two weeks. When first started coming he kept asking real name it was like having a parrot in the room. It's like it's not real if they don't know your real name. You have to have two ready because they won't believe the first one you give them. During bookings he would be saying my "real" name and I would forget and i would be thinking what's he going on about.
He use to over stay his welcome and you would have to practically shove him out the door. But he was such an easy job a real one minute wonder.
Quite a few times he came late and asked if he could stay the night. HALF HOUR BOOKING!!!!!!
I have never made up a 'real' name as I wouldn't want anyone to think that asking such personal details is ever acceptable. I've always said that it's not something I disclose to anyone.
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I never, ever get this with younger guys. It's always significantly older men. This one who my post is about has to be in his 80's. And I'm 35 :-X :-X
He has always been on the sleazy side and had a career with a position of trust over young people which I'm sure he will have abused. He has the personality type and isn't used to being told no ::)
Like you just as many older do this, and people in positions of trust are not exempt.
Sometimes there's an air of 'I know better than you' or 'We are friends aren't we?'
Friends wouldn't push boundaries or take advantage.
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It's so interesting listening to peoples opinions on here. In my experience it's the older clients who act in an entitled way not the young ones. Ones over sixty seem to be particularly prone. Most of my under 30 clients are as sweet as, proper superfans which makes me crack up!
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It's so interesting listening to peoples opinions on here. In my experience it's the older clients who act in an entitled way not the young ones. Ones over sixty seem to be particularly prone. Most of my under 30 clients are as sweet as, proper superfans which makes me crack up!
Same here! The worst clients I have had in this regard have always been 60+. I had to cut off quite a few clients over the ywars but I did notice that most of them were from when I first started and had considerably less experience, less boundaries and less confidence to tell them what's what if they started that nonsense.
I don't have any of these types of clients now as I cut them all off and nip that behaviour in the bud from any new clients.
Cut him off, he's not worth it.
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It's weird, maybe I used to be naive, before I started escorting I didn't realise men could get like this! The last 6 years have been a real eye opener as well as a learning curve for me. I have had some real super needy, clingy clients, it's really strange they seem to put you on a pedestal. I have now learned to read the signs that they are that way inclined and are potentially going to turn into a nuisance!
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Same here! The worst clients I have had in this regard have always been 60+. I had to cut off quite a few clients over the ywars but I did notice that most of them were from when I first started and had considerably less experience, less boundaries and less confidence to tell them what's what if they started that nonsense.
I don't have any of these types of clients now as I cut them all off and nip that behaviour in the bud from any new clients.
Cut him off, he's not worth it.
The more I think about it the more I think it was planned. That last text he sent made absolutely no sense because he'd already texted me ten minutes previous to say what he would like in that afternoon's booking. When he sent the final text he was literally supposed to see me in just a few hours time. I'd already answered the previous text to say everything was fine and yet his last text sounded like he never text me at all that day. I very nearly ignored it thinking I could answer it in person and if I had he would have probably text me again to say the same thing he did when he spat his dummy out - that's why I think it was all a crafty plan to do what he did.
This man has to be in his 80's and it's appalling behaviour the way he's carried on. When he saw me last year he requested a role play of a school girl and he was the teacher. The thing is he's said he was a teacher in real life - that was his career - and it was that booking that made me think I bet this actually happened in his job.
On the occasion I ignored his texts he would most likely send another text asking a question so I'd be more inclined to answer. He is definitely one very creepy, manipulative man who should be ignored. If anyone wants his number then pm me. He lives in the Bolton/Wigan area.
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Nope I love my regulars. Steady income and I treat my regulars better than newbies. For example I provide them with owo, French kissing and more... I know regulars are sometimes hard work but in my role it is not easy cum easy go especially with the virus.
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I learn lot from things my ex bf tell me about his life and I use when with customer. He tell me most thing not go from 0 to 100 like press light button, many thing rise slowly as people test. In my job i use like this.
1. If book don’t turn up... never accept booking again, not matter reason they give after.
2. First time they ask about my real name, relationship , I say this is private... or I ask their name and ID.
3. If customer contact for “talk” I reply “this is my business number for booking only, thank you for understanding “
4. Overstay.... this up to me... with some customer time is good if natural it go past by 10-20 minutes ok, but when become boring and they try to overstay I become very clear “time up, would you like extend” or “time up, I have get ready booking in 30 minutes”
5. Things above usually make people that become regular behave and not confuse
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I treat my regulars better than newbies.
But given that they were all newbies once, how then do you get more regulars? ???
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Do you Ladies get sometimes this strange question "Do your family kow that you are an escort ?" It seems to be a very popular question next to What is your real name.
I usually respond: And do your family know that you have to pay for sex to get it?
Then most of them have this the most embarrassing face ever and I often hear "I am sorry I am not good if it comes to women."
Well, sue you are not, You pay for sex to get it and come here to ask me if my family know that I am an escort.
One of them who asked me this was a psychiatrist by occupation!
Can't stand those disrespectful fuckers.
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Nope I love my regulars. Steady income and I treat my regulars better than newbies. For example I provide them with owo, French kissing and more... I know regulars are sometimes hard work but in my role it is not easy cum easy go especially with the virus.
I think we shouldn't trust any client. Be pleasant but never trust them. I've seen some turn that I would never have thought were nasty.
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I had a regular like this and he got me really annoyed one day when he was over time and I said I had to go out, and this was true so I eventually got him out and a taxi had been arranged to pick me up half an hour after the booking was due to end, so when I came out of my flat, onto the main road which is where my last place was located at, then he was standing there, right outside my flat and I got the shock of my life to see him standing there, when the taxi was there and I jumped into it then he said “so you weren’t lying then and you are going out” :FF well of course this INFURIATED me to the point that it ruined the rest of my day so when I got home I sent him and email and in the words of the Scottish then I went “fucking radge” (mental lol) and explained how I was only in this job for the cash, and that we weren’t mates (he had previously wanted to pop down one night with a bottle of wine for a ‘friendly’ time without £££) and that I was seriously starting to hate him to the point I was willing to lose £220 a week (he was always 2 hours in call) just to get rid of him, well I expected a vindictive type message back and that of course I would lose him but the strangest thing happened, he actually towed the line, started behaving and is now one of my favourite clients! He said he loved how honest I was and that he respected that over me pretending to enjoy sleeping with him just to get the cash (which is obvs the nature of the job duh) and now he brings me champagne and I can open with him if I want but I can also keep it for myself and friends! Sometimes honesty works in this job but that’s just with a small percentage of clients right enough!
I am surprised at the number of you here that give false real names, that to me is making them think that we’re all mates and it’s no wonder that some of them never tow the line, when they ask me my real name (there are a small group that know due to bank transfers but I know they’re sound) then I just say “(working name) is the only name your getting I’m afraid” and if they ask again then I just don’t see them again, I don’t care how much money I could be losing because as far as I’m concerned then there is ALWAYS another client waiting in the wings ready to give me that same cash that I lost!
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Example of just one client: texted day after meet "afternoon". I ignored. Texted two days later "are you ok?" I replied " yes thank you. Why?" He replied that he was just being nice. I replied that I don't find it appropriate and it's intrusive and unnecessary...and I asked him to just text for appt arrangements. He has eventually replied, after initially spitting dummy out to say he is sorry. Needless to say, I won't be seeing him again. Fed up to the utter back teeth of such boundary pushing. Completely disrespectful. If you had a plumber round to fix your sink, would you then text him randomly every few days? No you would be scared of being done for harrassment.
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We give them such an intimate service and I imagine that most of us have acting skills to rival the soap stars and they’re that deluded that they don’t get that it’s all in the name of customer service..and the majority won’t come back to us if we all admitted that we were only sleeping with them for the cash..I’ll never understand how or why they don’t get it..it still baffles me all these years later..I get that in the booking they have a need to believe that we are enjoying having sex with them but afterwards when they are away from us then why can’t they get that a large part of the fantasy, for paying clients, is the pretence that we’re with them because we want to be and not because we are paid to be..speaking about it and asking that ever annoying question “why do you do this job” defeats the whole purpose of said fantasy :FF
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The entitlement is why I don't like regulars.
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Oh and then the ones who text to tell you they have just had an amazing wank thinking about our last meet!?
Just pisses me off and makes me feel cheated... Do I really need to know this when I'm making no £££ from it
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I had one regular who texted me once and within the hour I hadn’t replied to him, he then sent me a text, “don’t ignore me (insert working name here)”🤬🤬 and he got a bollocking put it that way!
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I think it's right what's been said about the 60+ guys being the worst offenders.
I have one who only ever books 30 mins and as many times as I've explained that that includes showering, dressing, chatting I hardly ever manage to get him out the door less than 50 mins after he arrived.
What is it with them not being able to multi task!? As soon as he starts chatting he stops dressing!
I can literally be half way down the stairs rattling the door keys and he's still sat on the bed nattering and putting his socks on! Drives me nuts
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I think it's right what's been said about the 60+ guys being the worst offenders.
I have one who only ever books 30 mins and as many times as I've explained that that includes showering, dressing, chatting I hardly ever manage to get him out the door less than 50 mins after he arrived.
What is it with them not being able to multi task!? As soon as he starts chatting he stops dressing!
I can literally be half way down the stairs rattling the door keys and he's still sat on the bed nattering and putting his socks on! Drives me nuts
I allow them a few mins for a shower before the booking but if they go over 5 mins then I do take it off their time and that’s only happened once and it was 10 mins but in his defence then he was filthy and a farmer so I get why he wanted to be extra clean, him being clean also benefits me.
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When I say 60+ I think this guy is probably 70+ and at that age it takes them a minimum of 5 mins to get their clothes off and the same the other end to get them back on again! :FF
Factor in that he can't talk and dress at the same time and he does love to talk, maybe a bit lonely at that age, it obviously doesn't leave much time for the action!
They seem to think that they shouldn't have to pay to just be talking to us but I'm not his therapist!
I did try a new tack one time and was literally helping him into his clothes at the end lol, he looked round at me rather shocked and said "Oh are you in a hurry?"
I think I'm just too nice to be rude to old people :-\
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My view is belongs they don't put me in danger I can play along.
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My view is belongs they don't put me in danger I can play along.
Do you play along with the entitled regulars though out with bookings? My motto is now “if I ain’t getting paid for it then I ain’t doing it”, this comes into play lots due to the men thinking that they can sext/text me prior to, and after a booking.
I had the perfect client the other day who said “it’s just a business transaction and I get that”, and I answered him like this, “well can’t you tell all the other men that then”...
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When I say 60+ I think this guy is probably 70+ and at that age it takes them a minimum of 5 mins to get their clothes off and the same the other end to get them back on again! :FF
Factor in that he can't talk and dress at the same time and he does love to talk, maybe a bit lonely at that age, it obviously doesn't leave much time for the action!
They seem to think that they shouldn't have to pay to just be talking to us but I'm not his therapist!
I did try a new tack one time and was literally helping him into his clothes at the end lol, he looked round at me rather shocked and said "Oh are you in a hurry?"
I think I'm just too nice to be rude to old people :-\
Just because he's old it doesn't mean he's unaware that he's taking the piss. I had someone developing into a regular (late 50s) who always stayed near 45m despite always only booking 30m, usually spending at least 5m droning on about his job. As he sometimes (but bizarrely not always) had raging halitosis, the fourth time he texted to book I reminded him that I offered a 45m slot if 30m wasn't enough. He took the hint.
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When I say 60+ I think this guy is probably 70+ and at that age it takes them a minimum of 5 mins to get their clothes off and the same the other end to get them back on again! :FF
Factor in that he can't talk and dress at the same time and he does love to talk, maybe a bit lonely at that age, it obviously doesn't leave much time for the action!
They seem to think that they shouldn't have to pay to just be talking to us but I'm not his therapist!
I did try a new tack one time and was literally helping him into his clothes at the end lol, he looked round at me rather shocked and said "Oh are you in a hurry?"
I think I'm just too nice to be rude to old people :-\
I agree he's an cunning habitual overstayer, playing you nice and slow and probably overstayed for the past 50 years lol. You just happen to see him now as a 'poor wizened old man', but he's a polished blagger.
I'd end 10 minutes early which gives him 5 minutes each way to undress and dress.
At the end tell I tell them politely to step out when dressed and I leave the room.
Shut the door so he's isolated and can't chat.
I wait in the corridor, and get dressed quickly in my civvies which are hidden nearby.
When you're not in the bedroom they're off home in a couple minutes.
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Hi Kay
Yes you're probably right that he realises what he is doing.
I have hinted to him that I do a 45 min booking too but unlike your fella he refused to take the hint and if practically dressing him to get him out of the door didn't get the penny to drop I think I'm flogging a dead ( and somewhat mean and entitled) horse!
He has tried the old "I'm a poor pensioner" line too .... Time I stopped being so soft and got tough! lol
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Hi SS
Good advice, I definitely need to be more strict and use some of those tactics
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;D another one I use is to talk extra loud to the video entryphone and shout, 'come up in 2 minutes'. It could be your mum, the plumber, deliver poo, whoever you choose.
But it's once in a blue moon I'd say, and I don't allow them back.
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Hi Kay
Yes you're probably right that he realises what he is doing.
I have hinted to him that I do a 45 min booking too but unlike your fella he refused to take the hint and if practically dressing him to get him out of the door didn't get the penny to drop I think I'm flogging a dead ( and somewhat mean and entitled) horse!
He has tried the old "I'm a poor pensioner" line too .... Time I stopped being so soft and got tough! lol
Yep, in that case deploy Salty's tactics, and start wrapping up 25 minutes in.
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It's always been younger guys for me who have done this! And I see a lot of older (70+) guys.
But leaving that aside, my fix for this is to simply stop replying. You've already told him your boundaries (multiple times?) and he's ignored them.
If he never booked again, how much would it take to replace him?
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Yes I think his pride took a bit of a battering when I hinted at a 45 min booking instead and hurried him along that time as I didn't see him for a while but he was in contact during lockdown ( as were plenty of others who still haven't showed up yet ???) he still hasn't showed up though, maybe he's shielding due to his age.
Talking of entitled .. think was a thread on it but made me laugh, a client who I only see twice a year for 30 mins and even then he tries to get a discount!? Messaged during lockdown saying he'd love to be my first client when I came back ;D
Haha I bet you would was my first thought ... He still hasn't made a booking.
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Yes I think his pride took a bit of a battering when I hinted at a 45 min booking instead and hurried him along that time as I didn't see him for a while but he was in contact during lockdown ( as were plenty of others who still haven't showed up yet ???) he still hasn't showed up though, maybe he's shielding due to his age.
Talking of entitled .. think was a thread on it but made me laugh, a client who I only see twice a year for 30 mins and even then he tries to get a discount!? Messaged during lockdown saying he'd love to be my first client when I came back ;D
Haha I bet you would was my first thought ... He still hasn't made a booking.
I think all the ones who said they'll book after lockdown are just simply wasters saying one thing and yet doing another ::)
I've had plenty of them too.
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I just like it when I know the client will automatically get ready without fuss, or hanging on. I allow extra on my time, but when someone does it of their own accord, I know I can relax without having to badger or chivvy.
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I just like it when I know the client will automatically get ready without fuss, or hanging on. I allow extra on my time, but when someone does it of their own accord, I know I can relax without having to badger or chivvy.
I hate when they say “oh I could sit here all day” and then look at me with a longing in their eyes as if I’m gonna say “wouldn’t that be marvellous, just stay”, but instead I say “well if you have the money then I can do it”, that gets them told and they jump up and get ready! Dimwits that these ones are, I’ve also had guys phone up and say “if I pay for half an hour then I can stay all day”, erm no you fucking cannot! I know saunas put up with BS like that but not me, not us independents!
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I think all the ones who said they'll book after lockdown are just simply wasters saying one thing and yet doing another ::)
I've had plenty of them too.
Mostly guys I have seen before, I think they were just bored and horny during lockdown and wanted some contact and attention
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I had a regular contact me this week for a booking and when I wouldn't offer him a discount, he suddenly got busy. He's very very posh but seemingly, very tight!
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I hate when they say “oh I could sit here all day” and then look at me with a longing in their eyes as if I’m gonna say “wouldn’t that be marvellous, just stay”, but instead I say “well if you have the money then I can do it”, that gets them told and they jump up and get ready! Dimwits that these ones are, I’ve also had guys phone up and say “if I pay for half an hour then I can stay all day”, erm no you fucking cannot! I know saunas put up with BS like that but not me, not us independents!
It is just amazing innit? I’ve had a cpl try that stunt & mannnnn😆😆, you oughta see me GO with my calculator!
“I would absolutely LOVE ❤️that! So til, what, maybe 5 o’clock? (It’s 11 am & I’m busily clicking away on the calc)
Okie doke, 5 pm is 6 hours @ XYZ rate, & well, we HAVE to eat lunch ~ of course you’ll get that right? Of course you will!! *click click click* Annnnnd the total on that is $$ (something completely unreasonable bc I don’t want to spend the next 6 hours with you).”
You should see how fast that SOB scurries out the door🚪😆.
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;D another one I use is to talk extra loud to the video entryphone and shout, 'come up in 2 minutes'. It could be your mum, the plumber, deliver poo, whoever you choose.
But it's once in a blue moon I'd say, and I don't allow them back.
deliver poo = LOL ;D
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;)