SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: sabjones96 on 27 November 2021, 08:30:43 am
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I have always been bisexual, and I slept with a LOT A of men before I started escorting. I was always a pretty hyper sexual person. Since escorting my attraction to men has reduced by a lot.
More and more each day I work I think about whenever I quit in the future that I never want to go near a man again.
I do enjoy escorting and of course not everyone I see is disgusting - but I was wondering if I’m alone In this.
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Lol, I'm the reverse ... it's cos civvy men are just so bad and disrespectful and unclean that I got in to this.
That was 6 years ago and to be honest I've never looked back.
I've met many lovely men over the years that I would never have met otherwise. And I've met some vile ones, too, but at least I've been paid for everything ;)
These days if I go out on dates with anyone I just feel like I'm working for free.
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Lol, I'm the reverse ... it's cos civvy men are just so bad and disrespectful and unclean that I got in to this.
That was 6 years ago and to be honest I've never looked back.
I've met many lovely men over the years that I would never have met otherwise. And I've met some vile ones, too, but at least I've been paid for everything ;)
These days if I go out on dates with anyone I just feel like I'm working for free.
Same. I've dated a lot of men over the last 2 years. Most are a total waste of space and disrespectful. I only dated one that liked to give as well as receive. Sadly he didn't want a relationship. I've only ever had orgasms with clients. Met some really nice guys escorting and no longer have the constant rejection/disappointment of divvy guys with there multiple red flags. Whilst I'd love a loving caring relationship, I have no faith in divvy men any more.
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The thing that this job does do is open you up to how many men cheat on there wives and have no guilt and still want unprotected services.
Plus the amount of men out there up and down the country that enjoy wasting our time by doing fake bookings or taking
Some kind of piss. So this can certainly turn you off once you see how many men do this.
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No - I did quite an intensive few years of online dating which made me very realistic about men, and whoring hasn't really changed my opinion. Put another way, I've not found punters any worse than civvy men in terms of being cheating shits. Both have made me picky in my private life though, and I would rather be single than in a pointless/half-hearted relationship just for the sake of it.
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I was off men and that's WHY I went into escorting!
Escorting just confirms my choice. ;D
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Doing this made me lose a lot of respect for men. I shouldn’t judge them all the same but I don’t really respect one who would pay for sex. I don’t know why men pay and woman don’t
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Lol, I'm the reverse ... it's cos civvy men are just so bad and disrespectful and unclean that I got in to this.
That was 6 years ago and to be honest I've never looked back.
I've met many lovely men over the years that I would never have met otherwise. And I've met some vile ones, too, but at least I've been paid for everything ;)
These days if I go out on dates with anyone I just feel like I'm working for free.
Very similar for me, I've met some great people since starting paid sex punters, clients, others doing the same. It can be so easy to think 'men this, men that' because 99 per cent of our customers are men.
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I have no trust in men at all before I was escorting so after many one night stands sex work was easy.
They paid the got a service they left.
I'd been treated better by clients than some idiots I'd dated.
Has it put me off ..well it certainly hasnt installed any respect or value towards them
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I enjoy food so much more than men ;D
Give me a gourmet meal, champagne and a good scary movie any day of the week.
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I enjoy food so much more than men ;D
Give me a gourmet meal, champagne and a good scary movie any day of the week.
;D KBP, I am in total agreement!
I am a singleton and very happy in my own company. That said, I don't hate clients, they're just people like anyone else. It may be a terrible stereotype but I think generally speaking most men are good at separating lust from love. Sex with us is like getting a takeaway when they're hungry. If they weren't paying us they might be having affairs and one night stands instead. So escorting hasn't put me off men. I'm at peace with the differences between the sexes and just hope to be treated with respect during the booking. That's all I care about really.
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;D KBP, I am in total agreement!
I am a singleton and very happy in my own company. That said, I don't hate clients, they're just people like anyone else. It may be a terrible stereotype but I think generally speaking most men are good at separating lust from love. Sex with us is like getting a takeaway when they're hungry. If they weren't paying us they might be having affairs and one night stands instead. So escorting hasn't put me off men. I'm at peace with the differences between the sexes and just hope to be treated with respect during the booking. That's all I care about really.
That's exactly what I think. I respect my clients and treat them well as they are my livelihood but I couldn't do civvie sex now as I wouldn't do it for free, and the thought of having to share my space with anyone apart from my cats is a no brainer.
I feel nowadays that I think more like a man when it comes to sex in that they can scratch an itch for me then I can forget about them (if they're any good and as long as they're paying me!)
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Hey ;)
For me, sex has always been detached from feelings. Even when I wasn't working in escorting. It's great if I like someone, sex is better, sure!
But I like adrenaline ... I'm curious how it will be with someone new. It can be cool and it can be horrible ... you never know.
If I had a lot of unpleasant meetings, I really don't want sex and the presence of men. Then it is worth taking a break or making an appointment with someone you know that sex is great.
Sometimes clients are more caring and affectionate than civilian men.
I don't care if it's just an illusion. Apparently, they and I need it.
And I try not to judge my clients, I don't know their reasons.
But that doesn't mean I loved everyone and every meeting was fun. No, unfortunately not.
And I don't want to have sex for free anymore ... I feel used :FF
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And I don't want to have sex for free anymore ... I feel used :FF
Ditto. I really do feel used by men who just want sex outside of escorting. I guess we know our worth but also that we don't need civvy men for sex.
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I have had enough sex both paid and civvy to know if feelings are there it will be absolutely completely different.
I don't mind having civvy sex if there are feelings, but it would be utterly pointless if there wasn't.
I'd definitely feel used then >:(
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These days if I go out on dates with anyone I just feel like I'm working for free.
Haha I feel exactly the same!
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I've been thinking about this thread and I agree with those who say they don't enjoy civvie sex anymore, or they feel used. I had a very rare one night stand a few years ago and immediately went into tigeress mode nearly eating the poor guy alive. I kicked him out in the morning which I think he wasn't used to. Then I went to work and saw some clients! It felt good to me at the time. It was slight revenge on the civvie men who had treated me in the same disposable way. So maybe escorting *has* changed the way I relate to men - at least those who want to have free sex and then disappear the next day - in that I feel more confident and detached from the emotional side. I feel I should be paid. ;D In a way I relate to these guys more than I realise. I can compartmentalize things. Wow, this thread has really got me thinking
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I prefer clients to civvy men!
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The twat who I had the misfortune of meeting 3 weeks ago who said he wanted to get to know people before taking things any further etc etc was just a complete bullshitter who only wanted sex and spat his dummy out when denied it.
I've never met a player who is so utterly toxic and misogynistic.
Can you imagine how I would feel if I did sleep with him ... the guy who I thought genuinely cared would just vanish. Needless to say he tried to turn it all on me and yeah he's completely innocent ::)
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The twat who I had the misfortune of meeting 3 weeks ago who said he said to get to know people before taking things any further etc etc was just a complete bullshitter who only wanted sex and spat his dummy out when denied it.
I've never met a player who is so utterly toxic and misogynistic.
Can you imagine how I would feel if I did sleep with him ... the guy who I thought genuinely cared would just vanish. Needless to say he tried to turn it all on me and yeah he's completely innocent ::)
Civvy men, especially players and narcissists know exactly what to say to get in yer knickers. I've wised up to it. I did think I met the perfect man a few months back, I was so attracted to him mentally and physically, we had the most amazing sex, but, he didn't want a relationship. There is no way I'm fucking him for free. Story of my life and the whole reason I turned to escorting. Just can't take wading through the frogs anymore. I'm highly sexed and get grumpy without sex, but I also really detest men using me unless they're paying.
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Gypsy, I'm sorry to hear that. But it's better that you find out now than in a few months how you would be emotionally involved.
I think escorting changes everyone's perception of men and sex. Each affects a bit differently, but we have a different perspective. I am not sure if I like this perspective, because it gives a sadder picture of human relationships.
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Civvy men, especially players and narcissists know exactly what to say to get in yer knickers. I've wised up to it. I did think I met the perfect man a few months back, I was so attracted to him mentally and physically, we had the most amazing sex, but, he didn't want a relationship. There is no way I'm fucking him for free. Story of my life and the whole reason I turned to escorting. Just can't take wading through the frogs anymore. I'm highly sexed and get grumpy without sex, but I also really detest men using me unless they're paying.
Four years ago I was stupid enough to get off with a guy I knew was married and a player. I was crazy about him and still not over it. I completely lost all reason and made a show of myself.
As a result, I won't entertain civvy men. The only time a man gets sex and affection off me now is when they pay for it. Becoming an escort has made me even worse and makes me wonder what the point is when seeing so many married punters.
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Escorting does definitely harden you.
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I prefer to be paid for my time, civvy dating is hard work to sift through trash... I only want him if it’s going to benefit me..:
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I never thought it was possible! But deleted an ex flings number from my phone the other day. Low and behold he trys to ring. They always come creeping back when u move on! To think I used to cry over these trash! If anything, escorting has made me colder and realise my worth. Focusing on myself is the best! Unless the guy can add something to my life, then he can get in line and pay me like the rest 🙅♀️
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Its the other way around for me. I saw that overall relationships between men and women tended to benefit men more than they benefited women (women do majority of emotional labour, housekeeping, the orgasm gap, serious sexual and domestic abuse and violence, men more likely to commit repeated infidelities etc) and I wanted no part of it. Prostitution wasn't exactly wholesale emancipation from the bollocks, but it was preferable to other options on the table because I get a direct and clear benefit for my engagement without any one trying to convince me that they care about me so that they can get stuff out of me/take advantage of me. It hasn't made my view of men worse as such (or rather masculine society than men themselves, as some of them are OK as individuals) but it has crystallised it.
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I have always been bisexual, and I slept with a LOT A of men before I started escorting. I was always a pretty hyper sexual person. Since escorting my attraction to men has reduced by a lot.
More and more each day I work I think about whenever I quit in the future that I never want to go near a man again.
I do enjoy escorting and of course not everyone I see is disgusting - but I was wondering if I’m alone In this.
yes very much, even the ones with stunning girlfriends need more, the things peoples husbands ask you to do Roland the husbands sleeping with other men etc bet there wives don't have a clue..
im happy with my dogs lol,theyre loyal and all I need xx
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A relationship was never really for me, I enjoy my own company. But if there was any hope left escorting has definitely gotten rid of it.
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Only confirmed the pre-whoring observation and experiences that they’re disloyal scumbags for the most part and the risks associated with any deeper involvement outweigh the potential benefits.
May I add that due to the volume of sex had, I am no longer phased by physical attraction or compliments. Those “tricks” vanilla men use to try get sex simply no longer work with me. Whenever I hear the vanilla friends thrilled about cheap casual sex they’ve had last weekend, I feel absolutely nothing. Just think that there isn’t any good logical or economic reason to let a random to fuck for free.
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May I add that due to the volume of sex had, I am no longer phased by physical attraction or compliments. Those “tricks” vanilla men use to try get sex simply no longer work with me... just think that there isn’t any good logical or economic reason to let a random fuck for free.
I am exactly the same. In the back of my mind, I'm always thinking I could have been paid for the thrusting in me and no orgasm on my side that comes with dating cis men
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im happy with my dogs lol,theyre loyal and all I need xx
Couldn't agree more, I don't need a man in my life but couldn't be without my dog.
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Escorting has put me off dating civvy men, and men with low incomes. I'm sad to say that escorting and having several sugar daddies in the past, has changed me. I will never have sex again, without some type of payment, financial incentive or gift. NO FREE SEX!!! ;D When I finally stop working, I will only date a guy that is financially stable. Before I started escorting I didn't care about a man's earnings, or what he could do for me. I used to get cheated on and used alot by losers, because I had low self-esteem, and didn't know about my own self worth. Those men did nothing for me, while I did everything for them. I have not had free sex in 6 years, and I don't regret that one bit.
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Escorting has put me off dating civvy men, and men with low incomes. I'm sad to say that escorting and having several sugar daddies in the past, has changed me. I will never have sex again, without some type of payment, financial incentive or gift. NO FREE SEX!!! ;D When I finally stop working, I will only date a guy that is financially stable. Before I started escorting I didn't care about a man's earnings, or what he could do for me. I used to get cheated on and used alot by losers, because I had low self-esteem, and didn't know about my own self worth. Those men did nothing for me, while I did everything for them. I have not had free sex in 6 years, and I don't regret that one bit.
+1
This and the fact so many attached ones are dishonest cheaters.
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Men have put me off men.
Both clients and civi lol
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Men have put me off men.
Both clients and civi lol
;D Actually I agree ;D
I don't feel the any particular need.
When did it become normal for men and women to live together?!?
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Men have put me off men.
Both clients and civi lol
Definitely. I've had a week off and planning at least 1 more week off due to illness, and I honestly have not missed dealing with men during that time at all
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Escorting not put me off men I was going off them before I decided to escort and gave up on trying to have a relationship or having casual sex and decided to make money instead. I dabble with online dating and it confirms I'm happier not wasting time dating guys that don't stimulate me mentally or in bed. I recently dated a guy briefly and the sex was terrible, I'd had better sex with clients who mostly like to please me and not are lazy, Appreciate my efforts and pay me :) . I just want to concentrate on myself, Make money to afford to study and take care of my family. I'm happier curled up at home with my furry companions, Not that I don't think I'll be in a relationship one day but for now it's too much hardwork and sacrifice.
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I was put off men since I was a teenager. I think it just helped me to not connect sex with them with feelings so I can comfortably do this job.
Actually now, thanks to this job I feel like I can spot timewasters (in the job but also in civvy life) straight away which saves me from dealing with losers in private life too.
And free sex doesn't exist. I need something in return, money or commitment.
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YES
Mainly the trust thing. I would really struggle with trusting a man to be faithful because I see unfaithfulness on a daily basis.
I see men tell me about their lives, and not feeling any guilt. They're only worried about being caught, so they plan things on the sly.
I would like to have fooled myself into thinking these are just a few, or a "certain type", but some of my nicest clients have wives and families; and I even think to myself, if I saw them on the outside, I would have thought that they would be the last to cheat.
Especially because sometimes they sit with me talking devotedly about their partners... yet they're here with me. No matter how much they love their family, they still need this bit on the side, and as long as they don't get found out, they continue to do it.
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A bit like what someone else said, I definitely feel I am working for free now if I go on a date with someone without being paid! They would have to be truly special, or have something additional to offer me; otherwise I see plenty of men, so I really need that extra something.
But I think this is a good thing as it really gets you to aim higher. I'm so done with casual dating because it's "a bit of fun", as my job offers me this already (and more)! I think it has made my standards higher, and I respect myself and my time more :)
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I never thought it was possible! But deleted an ex flings number from my phone the other day. Low and behold he trys to ring. They always come creeping back when u move on! To think I used to cry over these trash! If anything, escorting has made me colder and realise my worth. Focusing on myself is the best! Unless the guy can add something to my life, then he can get in line and pay me like the rest 🙅♀️
I agree 100%. I stopped working because I was seeing a guy who I thought was my life partner. Low and behold he turned out to be a wishy washy time wasting prick! I look back now and think what on earth was I thinking! I'm all about my business now and focusing on myself and really don't have time for men and their crap in my personal life unless he's super rich. As someone said before I think us women invest much more into a relationship than a man and if you look at the world as a whole there is always inequalities with men and women. I think in the long run the majority of them are more headache then what they are worth.
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As someone said before I think us women invest much more into a relationship than a man and if you look at the world as a whole there is always inequalities with men and women. I think in the long run the majority of them are more headache then what they are worth.
This. Research show again and again that women do more emotional and domestic labour in relationships, get fewer orgasms, are more likely to be regularly cheated on and make more sacrifices with their careers/friends/time. Unless you find a diamond (and who can be bothered to look? Life is short), you will be getting a bum deal somewhere along the line.
Sex work was never my dream job, but I like knowing I am getting a very definite, explicit return for my energies with men.
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Escorting has not put me off of men it's the men in my civvy life that have put me off, one in particular comes to mind. I most certainly have decided I will never want or need one ever again ;D.
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Escorting has not put me off of men it's the men in my civvy life that have put me off, one in particular comes to mind. I most certainly have decided I will never want or need one ever again ;D.
Absolutely. Any hurt, abuse, using and trauma doesn’t actually come from punters. I also haven’t seen bigger (sexual and general) entitlement and arrogance from anyone other than vanilla men.
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Absolutely. Any hurt, abuse, using and trauma doesn’t actually come from punters. I also haven’t seen bigger (sexual and general) entitlement and arrogance from anyone other than vanilla men.
I found this to be true. The majority of clients (not the deadbeats I screen out) treat me ten times better than almost any job title I've had to deal with over the past few years. In fact looking back I wonder if that problem was always there only I tuned it out.
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I’m currently in a situation where I’ve gone off sex with my boyfriend (of 1yr) and only have motivation / interest in sleeping with clients. I very rarely orgasm with clients so it’s not due to being satisfied at work, I just get bored easily I think which is why I still have motivation for work. It’s different clients and different scenarios etc. I’ve lost that mojo for my boyf. I’d be quite happy to just cuddle instead.
I’ve only had one boyf that I didn’t get bored of so I think escorting is part of the reason for me getting bored. I don’t know why I manage to get in the zone for work and quite enjoy performing but can’t seem to do it at home ???
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I have almost no experience with say, online dating to have a good comparison.
But the sheer number of boundary-pushers and just trying to stay safe puts me in a constant protection/ combat mode.
When I wasn't escorting I slowly started to see men as an opportunity, a possibility for something, I was open to interactions.
Now I see them as a threat almost? :-\
It's really interesting to observe this change of mindset. It impacts the overall sense of safety for me somehow.
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I have almost no experience with say, online dating to have a good comparison.
But the sheer number of boundary-pushers and just trying to stay safe puts me in a constant protection/ combat mode.
When I wasn't escorting I slowly started to see men as an opportunity, a possibility for something, I was open to interactions.
Now I see them as a threat almost? :-\
It's really interesting to observe this change of mindset. It impacts the overall sense of safety for me somehow.
I get what you mean. When I was dating I put myself at risk a few times although luckily managed myself. Now I have my spider senses on full alert. I'm lucky that there have only been a few times I've felt intimidated by clients and will block them after. I'm always sizing them up, tone (phone and in person), body language etc. I will end a phone call if they mention something not on my likes list. Even contractors I'm wary of.
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I felt like I was super picky before anyway. I've been single for 3.5 years and I've been escorting for 1.5 years now. As a plus sized lady I feel like escorting has given me an incredible sense of self confidence, maybe even self worth. I'm actively dating again so I feel like I would've given a lot of these dudes a chance before escorting but now I have zero tolerance for shitty behaviour.
I think it's because of all of the time wasters I've had to deal with in this job, I just have a better feel for flouncy man language now. Like my bullshit meter got an upgrade and I feel like it's constantly putting me off possible partners and I'm grateful about it
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Like my bullshit meter got an upgrade
Haha love it, but you are soooooo right. Escorting has taught me how to recognise bullshit and narcissism so much more
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Not at all, but I do think it's made me recognise what I should expect from men better and not to put up with the kind of BS I used to think was just a normal part of interactions. I have always been big on communication anyway and this has made me want to up my game several fold. Though due to the pandemic mostly, and my long standing disinclination around internet dating, I haven't been out much and my patience with them is thin, especially when they start running their mouth towards sex, I nip that right in the bud, hey dude, that ish costs money......
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I have had more respect from the majority of clients I actually see, than men I've dated, but I think it has to do with a different expectations. I only want a client to be clean, friendly and follow my protocol. I don't have to find him attractive, get sexual satisfaction or share common goals or interests.
If I am dating, I am trying to find someone I fancy, whose company I like. That's a bigger ask than just 'clean and polite' and so in the past I've put up with disrespectfu boyfriends that I never would with clients because strong attraction (particularly for someone who has had a lot of sexual partners!) is quite hard to come by. The minute a client pisses me off with some disrespectful shit, even if he is a regular, I am happy to bin without a second thought, because I have no emotions or desire invested. But when I fancy someone, or more so, love someone, its not so easy to be so 'ruthless'.
I think punters and boyfriends know this, the former know to play nice if they want to book the woman they want again, and the latter know they often have more room to piss about. IME they use that to their advantage. This is why I don't bother with finding love anymore, because the minute you show a guy you like him, watch him play you like a football.
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Vintage Miss, so brilliant put.
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This is why I've decided men are no longer worthy of my time nor feelings. I keep my head down now and avoid any chance of meeting a civvy guy.
Totally. I'm not willing to put up with the bullshit of civvy guys anymore. I believe a client when they tell me they think I'm pretty, I don't believe civvy guys. It's just an empty compliment to get into my knickers free.
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Yes I think men are very much unfinished symphonies in general. Clients are fine however. So in that sense they help keep me out of the feminist books.
Clients in general are at their best when they visit and it is much easier than reationships.
I won't go there again with men in relationships. Single and independent has many advantages. Just a shame the world is full of dependent women wived up and half a person.
Women are more evolved than men. However clients are in general quite cool.
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Vintage Miss, so brilliant put.
Thanks Milf-glos! :)
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Just a shame the world is full of dependent women wived up and half a person.
I love how you put this.
I guess the only upside to this is that because there are so many unhappy marriages and so many bored women who can't take anymore of their husband's shite bed 'skills', and have consequently pulled up and locked down their bloomers...we get an income stream.
But there again, if other forms of work that women usually do paid half a damn, sex work wouldn't be such an appealing alternative. Waitress, wife or whore? I pick whore.
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No, working as an escort did not drive me away or disgust me with men.
Long before I started, I knew that men are naturally polygamous. So I can't say that I'm surprised or scandalized by their involvement with escorts. :)
And in a very selfish way, I think it's a good thing. that men are like that... because it gives me the opportunity to be in this business, a well-paid business, where I am my own boss. If all men were faithful to their wives or girlfriends, I might have to work at Macdonald's. :)
I also think that civvy men are going to be respectful...if you know how to get respect. If you're not too emotionally dependent on men.
A big factor, in my opinion, that will make a prostitute disgusted or jaded with men is simply the number of clients she sees per week. Personally, I only see three clients a week, sometimes four, mostly regulars. After all, I love chocolate, but if I eat too much of it I get disgusted. Same thing with the men!
:)