SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Jadebear on 22 June 2020, 01:35:55 am
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Ok,
So, I'm a newbie. I've been escorting for the past 4 ish months and so far enjoyed it. I actually met my current partner through it, one of my first clients. He doesn't ask or care so I don't mention anything but I'm obsessed with reading all these forums online about escorts. I've always been fascinated and interested in this profession but seriously most things I read on reddit, news forums, articles etc speak about the regret behind it. Is this a common theme? I have no guilty conscience at all. I wouldn't tell my parents or friends due to how socially unacceptable the oldest profession is still viewed but I'm thinking maybe something is wrong with me?! Lol.
No guilt, just wholesome love for my fellow gals. I feel for the people who have no other option and I know some people in my area are forced into this job but I'm not talking about them just regular gals who make the choice to become escorts. I don't think I'll look back in 10 years time when I'm 30 with loads of regret and think it'll 'stain my soul forever'
So, does anyone else have the no guilt thing?
Rant over. Excuse my bad grammar, my phone is tiny and I can't read the screen properly!
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No regrets or guilt here. Apart from wishing I had started a lot sooner!
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No guilt here felt whatsoever nor should there be. It is just a service the same as a haircut or massage. That is just the way I view it anyway. How I wish I had started it much sooner though ....! I just didn't know about adultwork or I would definitely have gone into it a few years prior when money was getting exceedingly tight.
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Although some people know it's the secrecy which I can feel guilt about, also a comment made by someone who should have know better working in a professional capacity supposed to be helping with a serious issue told me sex work would eat away at my soul. That person definitely had an issue, I have a good idea what that issue is but still hasn't removed that comment. Sits alongside a few other prejudiced judgemental words by professionals over the years. Many haven't been like this, many have had great respect but a shame to receive the judgement.
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To be honest at the very beginning of escorting I did wonder if doing this job would eat away at my soul but it never happened so so much for society's hang ups and assumptions!
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No guilt. Sometimes I feel sad for the the state of matrimonial sexually repressed pseudo-monogamy and sometimes I've felt isolated because I spend a lot of time alone because its not always easy to maintain friendships and relationships for one reason or another. But then I like my own company anyway. But never guilty. I'm not breaking any of my own moral codes or any promises I've made to anyone.
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Absolutely no guilt whatsoever.. I'm not coercing someone into doing something they don't want .
Guilts a useless emotion
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Another guilt-free whore here. I had lots of flings with married/attached men as a singleton, and can't say I lost any sleep over that, either. I would never deliberately go after someone in an LTR, or attempt to disrupt it, but if the man is out looking it's on them as far as I'm concerned.
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Ok,
So, I'm a newbie. I've been escorting for the past 4 ish months and so far enjoyed it. I actually met my current partner through it, one of my first clients. He doesn't ask or care so I don't mention anything but I'm obsessed with reading all these forums online about escorts. I've always been fascinated and interested in this profession but seriously most things I read on reddit, news forums, articles etc speak about the regret behind it. Is this a common theme? I have no guilty conscience at all. I wouldn't tell my parents or friends due to how socially unacceptable the oldest profession is still viewed but I'm thinking maybe something is wrong with me?! Lol.
No guilt, just wholesome love for my fellow gals. I feel for the people who have no other option and I know some people in my area are forced into this job but I'm not talking about them just regular gals who make the choice to become escorts. I don't think I'll look back in 10 years time when I'm 30 with loads of regret and think it'll 'stain my soul forever'
So, does anyone else have the no guilt thing?
Rant over. Excuse my bad grammar, my phone is tiny and I can't read the screen properly!
I didn't feel guilty before and this time around I love fitting escorting around my personal life.
I don't read up in to the stigma against escorts anymore is such a relief.
I have got a supportive non client partner, I didn't see clients serious people is all.
There is nothing wrong others with clients though. Xx
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No regrets or guilt here. Apart from wishing I had started a lot sooner!
+1
Why should you feel guilty? It’s THEIR decision to come see you.
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You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty. Don't let society's norms make you feel like that.
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No regrets or guilt here. Apart from wishing I had started a lot sooner!
I started a month after turning 18, I barely have sex for free anymore ;D don’t feel any guilt or regret whatsoever. My whole lifestyle and pretty much everything I own and have achieved has been funded by sex work for the past 3 years. I obviously don’t go around telling everyone about it, but I’m completely unapologetic about it with myself, I am a prostitute, and I live a very comfortable life for someone my age and I’m paying for my education; why feel guilty about that?
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I started a month after turning 18, I barely have sex for free anymore ;D don’t feel any guilt or regret whatsoever. My whole lifestyle and pretty much everything I own and have achieved has been funded by sex work for the past 3 years. I obviously don’t go around telling everyone about it, but I’m completely unapologetic about it with myself, I am a prostitute, and I live a very comfortable life for someone my age and I’m paying for my education; why feel guilty about that?
I wish I woke up 8 years before I did!!!!!
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The only thing that makes me feel horrible being an escort is the people's opinion about escorts and also sometimes miss having a real relationship with someone I love
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I’ve been working for 5 years now and have no guilt with the whoring part of it, but massive guilt about how much money I’ve saved in that time! Could have a few hundred thousand in the bank but only a little of that due to my spending habits :-[ :-[ so you’ve just started so maybe make some kind of rule about what you save per month. I so wish I had done this from the beginning and would be totally 100% guilt free if so :)
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I’ve been working for 5 years now and have no guilt with the whoring part of it, but massive guilt about how much money I’ve saved in that time! Could have a few hundred thousand in the bank but only a little of that due to my spending habits :-[ :-[ so you’ve just started so maybe make some kind of rule about what you save per month. I so wish I had done this from the beginning and would be totally 100% guilt free if so :)
This is a problem. I was the same, but I had to take a long time out a few years back, and that really woke me up because I ended up in debt which should never have happened. Now I keep to a tight budget and it's a good feeling when you know you can do it. It's self discipline and very similar to keeping to a healthy diet. Just the occasional extravagance but not too often.
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[removed]. The guilt I feel is just peoples opinions on us. Being a whore and knowing I'm a whore gets me down. My mother and father would be totally ashamed of me and who can blame them but I need the money.
I also hate some of clients. They can be rude and disrespectful.
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Just want to say thank you for all the responses. I feel loads better about not feeling guilty! And not conforming to societys 'accepted' standards. And you're right about the extravagant spending, I've cut down but until now I'm just buying absolute crap. The amount of lingerie I have now is insane! And they all look the bloody same!
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No guilt or regrets from me.
It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done, although I’ve never been full time and have always had my work on the side, it gives me independence it allows me to achieve things I probably wouldn’t have.
It’s also taught me to save, and invest.
A couple of my friends know, a close family member who is the same age as me knows but nobody else. I’m not ashamed, I’d love to tell the world, but not everyone is a liberated as me and if you’re not in the industry your view of escorting etc is going to be the trashy stuff you see on the TV basically, which isn’t reality.
I have mostly great clients, mostly regular who I enjoy, might not always enjoy the sex, but many of them are decent company who you can have a laugh with!
Anyone else feel like it’s given you confidence and self worth? Before escorting I would probably believe a lot of what guys say even the cliche things, I’d probably tolerate a lot of negativity aswell, but doing this job I feel I’ve heard every line in the book, and I don’t put up with bullshit, which carries over into dating. Win win really!
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I have zero guilt or regret about doing this. I started about 6-8 years ago when I desperately needed the money to resolve some personal shit and have continued ever since, even though that is long resolved. My partner of 5 years knows I do this and supports me 100% as does my mum and another family member. I guess I'm lucky that I knew there would be no judgement from any of them and able to have a support system in place, I'm not sure if I would feel the same if I had no one to confide in.
For strangers and the general public view on this job, I have never and will never give a flying fuck what they think about me. :D
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Guilt ?
nope - did a few jobs years ago that were back breaking, filling shelves, and in a hotel, hard work for a week and paid a couple of hundred quid. now i can get a couple of hundred quid in an hour and I can actually enjoy it.
No guilt what so ever, I just wish i had woke up and started this a lot sooner.
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At first I used to feel guilty on all the wives and girlfriends of the men that were my clients but now I look back and cannot believe that I took the responsibility of that on, it’s not my place and I’m not cheating on the wife or partner, I am a business woman and it’s really none of my business about whether the men are single or not, and I stopped asking if they were attached long ago..yes I honestly used to ask!! :FF
When I first started working then I would take £1000 uptown and just buy utter crap that I didn’t need and I felt very guilty back then but I’m not sure why, I was single and wasn’t hurting anyone but there was an immense feeling of guilt that I can’t describe but now I have zero trace of guilt, though I now feel sorry for people that work the NMW in shitty jobs, I almost feel superior towards them money wise and that’s not right either but I can’t help it, or maybe I’m mixing up feeling superior to feeling sorry for them..they may feel sorry for me too and I can’t stand being pitied!
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When I first started working then I would take £1000 uptown and just buy utter crap that I didn’t need and I felt very guilty back then but I’m not sure why, I was single and wasn’t hurting anyone but there was an immense feeling of guilt that I can’t describe but now I have zero trace of guilt, though I now feel sorry for people that work the NMW in shitty jobs, I almost feel superior towards them money wise and that’s not right either but I can’t help it, or maybe I’m mixing up feeling superior to feeling sorry for them..they may feel sorry for me too and I can’t stand being pitied!
Agree with this 100%. It can be a very confusing mix of feelings sometimes!
Sometimes I think like I know better because I can put myself in their shoes (since I was previously content earning far less money, and thought escorting was something I would never do) - but they can't put themselves in mine, where now I am selling sex and very happy about it too.
This is bullshit though of course. We are all on our own journey.
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I think I'm missing something, guilt about what? Paying my bills and having a decent quality of life? I'm only responsible for me, no one else so..
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I don't think we should feel guilty about offering a service to keep food in our mouths and roofs over our heads, whilst making our clients feel happy about themselves. We sell an experience that isn't hurting anyone. If a client wants to be irresponsible in his private life, then it's between him and his family. If it wasn't you or me he's paying, then it would be Jenny with the tits, down the road.
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Most of my business is regulars who I enjoy taking care of. Sometimes I feel guilty if I can't schedule them when they need, especially if they are relying on me long term. But I always do my best to reasonably accommodate their needs. What else could I feel guilty about?
This job is as good as your clients are. Good clients, good life. I've always believed take care of them and everyone is happy.
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No guilt whatsoever. It really is other people that have a problem with it. I told people as I feel unashamed of what i do (and think if we all stood up and declared it, society would have to become more accepting, but i understand lots of people can't.) The reaction of certain people who no longer speak to me was a bit hurtful, others however were fine about it as were my close friends.
As far as the job is concerned I only see a handful of people a week and enjoy it. 5 years in and I've only ever had one 'entitled' client, every other person I've met has been fine.
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Most of my business is regulars who I enjoy taking care of. Sometimes I feel guilty if I can't schedule them when they need, especially if they are relying on me long term. But I always do my best to reasonably accommodate their needs. What else could I feel guilty about?
This job is as good as your clients are. Good clients, good life. I've always believed take care of them and everyone is happy.
I could have written this, but you beat me to it - lol. 100% agree
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:) never felt any guilt in the 20 odd years I've been in this profession.
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As someone that has been an escort their whole adult life (on and off!) I can wholeheartedly say I do not have any feelings of guilt. However, I do have some remorseful feelings, as a 40 year old who first got into this in my teens. These are the reasons why:
- Your 20s and 30s are normally the years in which you climb the career ladder and in time, achieve financial security through legitimate/ official means. As an escort, it is unlikely you will be able to do this (I know there are exceptions.) This means that in my case I do not have a secure career/financial foothold in life and m unlikely to create one now.
- Children. I've never wanted them but escorting has meant that I would never have been able to meet a traditionally-minded partner with whom to have children within a monogamous relationship, even if I had been that way inclined.
- In my experience over 20+ years, in escorting your life stays still. I am what I was 25 years ago- an escort. I still see some of the clients I saw over a decade ago and they have all advanced in life - better careers, marriage, personal progression. I am still the same as when they first met me. Which in a way is quite nice - I like my life- but does reinforce my feeling that being an escort has kept my life in stasis.
And like you OP it was not like that at the start - it was just for fun! And still is, really.
(Of course these are my personal opinions and I understand they don't apply to everyone.)
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As someone that has been an escort their whole adult life (on and off!) I can wholeheartedly say I do not have any feelings of guilt. However, I do have some remorseful feelings, as a 40 year old who first got into this in my teens. These are the reasons why:
- Your 20s and 30s are normally the years in which you climb the career ladder and in time, achieve financial security through legitimate/ official means. As an escort, it is unlikely you will be able to do this (I know there are exceptions.) This means that in my case I do not have a secure career/financial foothold in life and m unlikely to create one now.
- Children. I've never wanted them but escorting has meant that I would never have been able to meet a traditionally-minded partner with whom to have children within a monogamous relationship, even if I had been that way inclined.
- In my experience over 20+ years, in escorting your life stays still. I am what I was 25 years ago- an escort. I still see some of the clients I saw over a decade ago and they have all advanced in life - better careers, marriage, personal progression. I am still the same as when they first met me. Which in a way is quite nice - I like my life- but does reinforce my feeling that being an escort has kept my life in stasis.
And like you OP it was not like that at the start - it was just for fun! And still is, really.
(Of course these are my personal opinions and I understand they don't apply to everyone.)
1) it’s possible to find someone who both wants a family and accepts escorting (rare but exists)
2) you don’t have to be “just escort” and can use the money to develop another business and gain qualifications - planning a total u turn soon
3) never too late to train and gain a new skill to make career start or change
Also no feelings of guilt ;-) except that I have started so late! lol
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Yes for reasons already mentioned by others.
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My only feeling of guilt is surrounding my Mother and lying to her. Just because I know once I say it I can’t take it back and I don’t know what her reaction will be. I have just started my own business with my prostitution profits :P which was always the goal. And at 24 I have achieved it. This does now mean that I have an excellent excuse for obscure working hours and having money but it does make me feel guilty when my Mum calls and I say my friends coming over to watch 90 Day Fiancé and I’m actually in a crotchless unitard waiting on a 50 year old man.
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Like Ella unicorn, I felt guilty telling lies to my parents, but they recently found out.
When I first started I got a frill from telling people I am a prostitute and seeing how they react.
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My only regret is that during my marriage I worked less and let my ex control/dictate my work.
Other than that, nope no regrets. Nor should I have any.
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No regrets or guilt here. Apart from wishing I had started a lot sooner!
I wanted to second this.
I've been escorting for 6 months so still super new. But if I could rewind time I'd save up all of my birthday money, rent out a 2 bed property, move out as soon as I'm 18 and set up my profile!