Talk to a pro...I've recieved all types of hate mail over the past few weeks. Yes, I did leave for a moment...but dont let anyone run you off.
On the .info part of saafe it says:
Message boards can be a great source of fun and amusement. They can also give those who don?t have anyone to talk to about their hobby or job (maybe because those close wouldn?t understand) somewhere to exchange thoughts and let off steam and generally have a meeting of minds where sometimes, cyber friends become real time friends with a special secret in common. They can also help in raising a girls? profile to increase business just like any other form of networking.
I?m sure there are other positive reasons to as to why people use them but a little caution should be advised:
Misinterpretation
Very often an innocent comment is misconstrued, sometimes quite deliberately by someone who is either trying to raise their own profile or tarnish the good reputation of someone they feel is more popular or successful than them. These characters usually have more than one ?victim? or tend to become obsessed with the one person and all their posts and so over time, more and more people will see just what they are about and they will become seen as a laughing stock by most. Of course they will retain some allies but please don?t fall onto the trap of thinking everyone will believe what they say and blowing it out of proportion ? it is unlikely to have a great effect on your business as the percentage of clients who involve themselves in messages boards is really quite low. It can be hard to get it into perspective when you are in the middle of an ?attack? so taking a step back and a few days away from the boards is probably the best approach. Rather annoyingly, defending yourself is often seen as a sign of guilt and if you attack fire with fire, you can end up feeding right into the perpetrator hands as they then have ?real evidence? to show just what a bitch you are!
Alcohol driven posting
Friday and Saturday nights can often be great entertainment on the boards as when some posters have had a few, they really go to town. Their desperation to show others up can have hilarious consequences (if its not you being attacked of course) but usually the board moderators will come along and clean up their mess. So, the best advice if you do find yourself on the end of it, is really to ignore it and it will go away (if the moderators miss it then drop them a line, most boards have rules against personal abuse).
Bitterness & Jealousy
What powerful emotions these two are and how prevalent they are in this business, understandable really given the very personally nature of what we are doing but unwelcome al the same. I have personally seen girls dig away at other ladies on an ongoing basis. Usually the ?victim? will be someone with a sound reputation and the digger will be someone newer on the scene who wants a piece of that rep. Some do it in a subtle way others have a more direct approach which is easier to spot but either way, its not nice.
Playing the jealousy card
This is my personal favourite and so makes me laugh. For example, someone I know had a lady attack her, copy many of her ideas and make up lies about her and yet when she had the gall to finally approach her and say ?I?m not happy about this?, she was accused of being jealous of her! It?s a good one coz it makes onlookers question the motive of the ?victim? so just one to watch out for and best risen above ? although that of course is sometimes easier said than done.
Paranoia
Paranoia can soon set in with all the above going on and it is good to keep a check on your emotions if you start to feel that everyone has it in for you. Again take a break and get some perspective on it.
Fast changing allegiances
Cliques are pretty common in message boards and sometimes you may feel like joining one particularly if you feel under attack from one of their ?hate figures? ? birds of a feather and all but the reality of cyber message boards is that allegiances are fast changing and if you are not careful, something you said in confidence one day may well be used against you another day. There have been many instances of private emails being passed and posted around. Of course some may be doctored before they are posted and again this is cyber land and very little is what it seems, so just exercise a little caution before sending that mail.
Whore hags
A great term and one used to describe those who hang around messages board chatting up the ladies. Some punt, others don't and for those who don't, you have to really wonder why they hang around escorting message boards when they do not partake in the hobby. There are one or two around who are there purely to cause trouble and to listen and pass on gossip. Again while they may have some credibility initially, after a while most people see them for what they are and tend to ignore them. Often they will involve themselves in gossip and offer themselves as a shoulder to cry on and a resource to help you. One in particular set himself up as a bit of a guru and had ladies going to him with all sorts of gossip. He would then collate that gossip, use a touch of social engineering to glean more information, keep copies of message board postings, read between the lines and then deliver his conclusions to a wide eyed audience. Sometimes he got lucky and got it right, other times he was way off the mark and eventually his credence and people's fascination with him took a real nose dive. As they say, give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves. Our advice is to try and rise above it in the meantime.
There are many other negative sides to using message boards but the reality is that it is just a small handful of people who cause the trouble and so overall our advice is to rise above the bad stuff and use them for a bit of fun and networking. Alternatively, just stick to message boards where traffic (via controversy) is clearly less important than people's feelings and reputations, meaning the atmosphere is more friendly and safe. Take the good and ignore the bad and don't take them too seriously. Remember its only cyber and you just need to turn your PC off and they all go away ? just like that!
Topic: Good bye (Read 1775 times)