I began escorting a couple of months ago as I'd split from my boyfriend, was skint and felt my life was not getting anywhere.
I dealt with a lot as a child and teenager that no one should deal with. I was in regular contact with mental health because I was suicidal and felt so alone.
I got through school and passed my GCSE's, got a few NVQ's at college but not enough to give me a career.

When I contacted the escort agency I thought I'll see how this goes if I enjoy I will carry on and save to go travelling and save towards going back into education later on (want to be a Social worker and Councillor).

When I started escorting in my first couple of weeks my ex begged for me back and cried infront of all my friends his undying love for me  I gave him a chance. I couldn't keep up with the lying...anyone who knows the real me away from escorting knows I am the most honest, truthful, genuine and laid back person ever. So to lie to my boyfriend and look into his eyes when he said he loved me was too much to handle. I broke up with him because I love this job too much.

The next day I found out I was pregnant. (i know it is his as I conceived when I wasn't working) so I decided to give it ago.
I have carried on escorting which I hate myself for. but I am so worried about providing for my child I don't know how I am going to find the money to give it a best start if I don't carry on.

Me and my boyfriend are constantly arguing because I am lying to him about where I am and he feels I dont open upto him.
But I feel unhappy in the relationship because I feel like I dont get enough respect from him and I'm his slave.
I feel trapped. I am lucky to have this child and for my boyfriend to stick around as many men do run and dont want anything to do with their child especially at 18.

I know I shouldn't carry on escorting if I want this relationship to work and to have a nice family.
But I don't know how to come away from escorting, I love it so much. I feel trapped I wanted to follow my dreams and although a child is the best gift and you can never be ready for it, I feel I haven't lived my life. Abortion is out of the question.

Soon I will be showing and so many employers wont take me on because of maternity leave and I will be restricted to what I can do so I cant find a normal job.
Would just like some advice or help how to come away from it all and go back to being a normal person?
I dont want my boyfriend to ever find out and disown me and the baby and I dont want to break his heart.
I am so confused I am just going on now. I cant think straight. x

1/  Your title suggest the problem lies within the constant lying.
2/  Your whole message is about just how awful a life you've had and what a lazy, sh*tty bloke you are with - TREATS YOU LIKE A SLAVE......
3/  You want advice on how to stop escorting - you find it hard because after TWO WHOLE MONTHS you are addicted to it.

Have I broken this down correctly?
Is this posting for real?

1/  Your title suggest the problem lies within the constant lying.
2/  Your whole message is about just how awful a life you've had and what a lazy, sh*tty bloke you are with - TREATS YOU LIKE A SLAVE......
3/  You want advice on how to stop escorting - you find it hard because after TWO WHOLE MONTHS you are addicted to it.

Have I broken this down correctly?
Is this posting for real?

Yes, it is. If this is as constructive and helpful as you're capable of being Janie, don't bother please. There are plenty of threads about makeup and timewasters and smelly cocks and so forth if you don't want to contribute when somebody has some real problems.

Quote from: Janie_J on 22 May 2012, 03:16:43 pm

1/  Your title suggest the problem lies within the constant lying.
2/  Your whole message is about just how awful a life you've had and what a lazy, sh*tty bloke you are with - TREATS YOU LIKE A SLAVE......
3/  You want advice on how to stop escorting - you find it hard because after TWO WHOLE MONTHS you are addicted to it.

Have I broken this down correctly?
Is this posting for real?

Yes, it is. If this is as constructive and helpful as you're capable of being Janie, don't bother please. There are plenty of threads about makeup and timewasters and smelly cocks and so forth if you don't want to contribute when somebody has some real problems.

I am sorry you feel the need to talk about smelly cocks and such in response to my simple question. 

You will have to forgive me my ignorance of the workings of this site, as I've seen posts like this elsewhere and they are often set out to cause turbulence over the ether (read the replies for evidence of this) due to their emotive nature and I personally find it incredibly hard to believe that somebody needs advice on how to leave a part time job after just two months, which after several readings appears to be the question asked by the o.p.  I should have given this even further thought and softened my query regarding the post somehow for fear of upsetting anybody at all.

Sincere apologies to Secretcallgirl who indeed does have some real problems if this post is genuine.

I have had bad, lazy boyfriends and I've had jobs I've wanted to leave too.  I've also had my fair share of life problems, so to some degree understand what it's like to feel trapped and being unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Let me attempt something constructive and helpful as I see it:

When I had a job I wanted to leave; I left.  I went without a salary temporarily because ultimately, the job was making me miserable.

Decide if you want the job and the misery or if you want a 'normal' life, as you put it.  Or find a way to do the job without lying.  Of course, it is only advice and only you can know what measures it will take to aleviate your difficulties.

By your own admission your boyfriend is bad with money, lazy and treats you like dirt.  Sadly, he is but a child himself, therein lies the rub.

Other peoples' problems are infinitely easier to disentangel than our own, aren't they and this is probably all too pragmatic.

I never said you will have no life having a baby young but you will NEVER get those young years back.
And by the sounds of things they are probably going to split up at some point so she will be a single mum and I'm not saying single mums are bad but it's not ideal is it and I think before you have a baby you should be sure that's the man you want to spend the rest of you're life with and raise you're child. Not just get caught up in the ''moment'' If you are still going to escort when the child is born also I really don't think that's a stable environment for a child it could put that child at risk whatever way you look at it. If you don't give it up now you will always think 'I want nice things for my baby I'll just do this one job' ect and you will never get out of it.

Being a single mother is far better than staying in a dead-end relationship that you believe is "THE ONE". And yes, I've been there, I thought I would be with that idiot (my ex) - who is 10 years my senior in age, but 10 years my junior in emotional development - for the rest of my life. At the time he was "THE ONE" and I made the decision to have children with him.  I now have the gift of hindsight, and can see why I stayed with him when I should have run away fast, and how him leaving me was the best thing that could have happened.

Secretcallgirl has decided to keep the baby. Personally I would stop escorting and - again with the gift of hindsight! - I would talk to the boyfriend about what he wants from the relationship and what he will be doing to support THE FAMILY. Not him, not the baby, but the FAMILY as a whole unit. If he's not prepared to be emotionally mature enough to support (in all ways) a family unit, then you need to be strong and build your own family unit - you and the baby - away from the father without his 24/7 input.

Being a stable, single parent family is much better for your child than a rollercoaster 2-parent family.

Being a single mother is far better than staying in a dead-end relationship that you believe is "THE ONE". And yes, I've been there, I thought I would be with that idiot (my ex) - who is 10 years my senior in age, but 10 years my junior in emotional development - for the rest of my life. At the time he was "THE ONE".  I now have the gift of hindsight, and can see why I stayed with him when I should have run away fast, and how him leaving me was the best thing that could have happened.

Secretcallgirl has decided to keep the baby. Personally I would stop escorting and - again with the gift of hindsight! - I would talk to the boyfriend about what he wants from the relationship and what he will be doing to support THE FAMILY. Not him, not the baby, but the FAMILY as a whole unit. If he's not prepared to be emotionally mature enough to support (in all ways) a family unit, then you need to be strong and build your own family unit - you and the baby - away from the father without his 24/7 input.

Being a stable, single parent family is much better for your child than a rollercoaster 2-parent family.

Totally agree.
Life isn't a fairy tale unfortunately, there aren't many happy endings re partners staying together forever and raising a lovely family. It does happen I know, but often not.
The key is to make the most of any situation, keep positive and be happy. This often means a split is the best course of action.
Again, only SCG can make the decisions. I'm just offering MY advice, based on MY life history.

Quote from: MissKylie on 22 May 2012, 04:40:20 pm

I never said you will have no life having a baby young but you will NEVER get those young years back.
And by the sounds of things they are probably going to split up at some point so she will be a single mum. I'm not saying single mums are bad of course not, but it's not ideal is it. I think before you have a baby which is such a major decision you should actually be sure that's the man you want to spend the rest of you're life with and raise you're child. Not just get caught up in the ''moment''. If you are still going to escort when the child is born also I really don't think that's a stable environment for a child it could put that child at risk whatever way you look at it. If you don't give it up now you will always think 'I want nice things for my baby I'll just do this one job' ect and you will never get out of it.

Sorry, but I'm a single mother and there is no way any risk to my child in what I do for a living, and it certainly doesn't make his life unstable in any way either. In fact I'd like you to explain what you mean by that Kylie?

Okay. What we do on a day to day basis is always putting ourselves at risk. Put a baby/child in that equation or anywhere near it and it's not right. If men are coming in you're home even when the baby is not there that is still wrong and they could always come back. If you only do outcalls and a client spots you out with you're baby/child that could cause an unpleasant situation. Coming home often to you're child after sleeping with a few men is just not nice. If anyone found out you could possibly have you're child taken away from you fact, why? Because that child could be at a certain risk. Other than that imagine if it DID get out what you're child would have to deal with. Possibly sever bullying,rejection, maybe being taken away from home if they could prove it, and people would always say 'oh you're the one with the prostitute mum'

If they are at an age where it's not going to affect them as much if it did come out then I suppose that's better and you take that risk, but children look up to their parents and will ask their mummy what they do for a job and wouldn't any mother rather say something at least acceptable in society? You're not exactly going to say 'I'm a prostitute darling' I know what people are going to say you're not a mum you don't understand which is true in some ways, and say they want the best for their child which I have no doubt and that's why they do it. Yes I get that, but the truth is all children want is a happy family. They don't need loads of money. I think there are some great single mums out there but I also believe that it's still better for them to be brought up with a mum and dad at home and I do think that they miss out on certain things that a family unit gives them.

But as cat said I also think that if it's just worked out that that family unit is not possible, one stable loving parent is better than two unstable ones or who argue all the time ect. I know life does not always work out the way you want it to and you just have to do the best you can.

MY opinions not an attack on anyone!

I updated my post with what you said before you actually posted this. I don't know how you can say it's not the ideal/better situation to have two parents who are not a rollercoaster two parent family.