You're putting yourself through an incredible amount of stress. If you continue down this road yours and your unborn baby's health are going to suffer (mental and physical) as you're putting him under a lot of distress. It's not about you anymore, because it's 2 of you. So you need to stop now. You can't have a baby, be an escort, have a boyfriend and keep a double life. Nobody can. Not even wonderwoman. You need to get rid of 2 things from the equation in order to go back to normality and regain your sanity. Which two? You decide.

You say abortion is out of the question (tick one). You have 3 left, still need to get rid of 2. Boyfriend? double life? escort job?
Personally if I were in your shoes and I really really wanted to keep the baby I would get rid of the escort job and the double life and tell the boyfriend he needs to take care of me (both emotional & financial wise) till the baby is born. End off. He's the father, right? He is responsible for the baby too. Once the baby is 8 months I would get back to work and then figure out what to do. If your man can't take care of you financially and you can't stop working, then... sorry to be the first one to break you the news , -I don't want to sound condescendent- but you're not ready to have a baby in this moment of your life neither fit to be a mother.

You need to really take a look at the situation with your boyfriend very very clearly (try to take emotions out of it) and ask yourself this - Can he and will he  1) Get and keep a job (does he already?) to provide and support you whilst you are pregnant and will he pull his weight when the baby is born (ie keep the job, or else look after the home and child whilst you work etc)? and 2) Does he treat you right? I don't mean by this that you never fall out and he never says a bad word to you. I mean does he generally treat you well and with basic respect vast majority of time? you will know this deep down if you try not to get blindsided by the love thoughts and his begging and stuff. If the answer is no, then he will only drag you down, add to your depression and being a mother is difficult enough without that. I think that is the real question here that you need to base your decision on.

I wouldn't feel guilty about you stress affecting the pregnancy - the situation is what it is, abortion IS an option but not what you have chosen, and that is just the way it is. Just do what you need to do, keep moving forward and eating healthily, going to medical appointments and I'm sure you and the baby will be fine. I was extremely stressed throughout my first pregnancy and the buba was fine. It's not ideal but as long as you keep taking steps to reduce the stress and get things in place then don't beat yourself up about it.         

You need to really take a look at the situation with your boyfriend very very clearly (try to take emotions out of it) and ask yourself this - Can he and will he  1) Get and keep a job (does he already?) to provide and support you whilst you are pregnant and will he pull his weight when the baby is born (ie keep the job, or else look after the home and child whilst you work etc)? and 2) Does he treat you right? I don't mean by this that you never fall out and he never says a bad word to you. I mean does he generally treat you well and with basic respect vast majority of time? you will know this deep down if you try not to get blindsided by the love thoughts and his begging and stuff. If the answer is no, then he will only drag you down, add to your depression and being a mother is difficult enough without that. I think that is the real question here that you need to base your decision on.

I wouldn't feel guilty about you stress affecting the pregnancy - the situation is what it is, abortion IS an option but not what you have chosen, and that is just the way it is. Just do what you need to do, keep moving forward and eating healthily, going to medical appointments and I'm sure you and the baby will be fine. I was extremely stressed throughout my first pregnancy and the buba was fine. It's not ideal but as long as you keep taking steps to reduce the stress and get things in place then don't beat yourself up about it.         

Thank you for your kind positive words, advice and support.
I really do want whats best for my baby, I just wish I had an easier way out of it right now x

Thank you princess.


I have asked for help and advice to get out of escorting not asked about my parenting skills and if I am fit to be a mother.

And if you must know I had an abortion at 18 because my boyfriend at the time MADE me have unprotected sex to get me pregnant on purpose, stalked and harassed me and pushed me about, called me vile vile names and hes only stopped harassing me since he found out i was pregnant this time round with my new boyfriend and that was almost 3 years ago i had the abortion. there was no way I was able to keep that baby and ready for that. I would never go through the pain of an abortion again.
I did not plan this baby but I have been given a second chance and the best gift I could ever ask for after that and all the other complicated sadness in my life.

I'm trying to do the right thing now and put the past behind me, and escorting for the time being.
does anybody know if there Is their any councilors or anyone I could talk to professionally to help me in regards to being a sex worker?

Sorry Ana but think you could have been a tad more sympathetic, Suggesting that someone may not be fit to be a mother when there clearly hormonal and upset and asking for help isnt very helpful but I can see where your coming from in regards to being realistic)

Sorry, you're right that was pretty harsh (apologies). I should have found a nicer way of expressing my opinion.

Have PM'ed you secretcallgirl x x x

i  think as your young ( not being rude) but you have to think can I look after this baby myself  on my own without my boyfriend because at your age the chance of you becoming a single mother on your own with a child is pretty high ( and i have been that person a long time ago) 
Guys will come and go throughout your life  but your child will be there with you forever  so if you want to have this child its likely that you will be a single mother sooner rather than later  that not  to say that your child father wont have an imput in its life but  you dont have to be with him to allow that 

and  from what you have said about your boyfriend he sounds like a cocklodger and immature but then again he is 18 and that the mental age of about 13 for your average male so immature is probably not fair   


you could have your child and carry on escorting  have the child that you want and have the work and money that you want their is nothing wrong with that  ( thats what i did a long time ago )


 you also need to remember that depending on where you live ( if london) then the benefit system is changing hugely over the next year or so  and you wont get as much housing benefit thats availble at the moment for those that  live in london and need a roof over theire  head

 my friend has just had to move out of london and back to wales as the cap on housing benefit meant she could no longer afford her flat for her and her two kids 


money stuff

if you go to a website called entitled to you can put in your weekly earnings what benefit you get ( easy to work out as they are pretty much bog standard) and they will calculate what benefits you get for housing benefit and council tax

if you google tax credits  you can  put in a claim  to see what you would get  you dont process it cos you havnt had baby yet but if you do it as if you have
   So you put in your single one child  and how much you earn it will come back with how much you should get each week

   
So for example if you got your dad to pay you say less money  between 50 - 60  a week rather than 100 and you  worked 18 hrs a week   you would  get the maxiumum amount of working tax credit  and child tax credit and child benefit of approximently which would be roughly 140  a week  + 50 from your dad so thats almost 200 a week for working 18 hours
 
you would on that be entitled to probably full housing benefit  give or take say 10 pounds or so but probably you would get the maxium amount  so if your rent is  100 a week you might have to pay anything from 1pound to say 10 pound as a rough guide on those figures and probably  full council tax  would get paid as well  give or take the odd few pounds 

providing that your rent was within the LHA which depends on where you live  but you would be entitled to a two bed allowance once the baby is born and where i live in the southwest  i think around 600 a month in london its higher but thats all changing soon 

So just on that you would be getting 180 -200  a week for working a min of  18 hours a week with no rent /council tax or if you did have to pay any it would be very little   

Even if you were earning the 100 a week you would still get help with your rent and council tax
however this is just rough calculations that i did online and things are changing  with the universal tax credits 

best of luck