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Author Topic: Do you count sex work as your sex life?  (Read 2564 times)

TantricTease

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Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« on: 02 June 2020, 09:07:59 am »
The differences between the way sex workers see the sex they have with male clients, to the way clients see the sex they have with sex workers is quite different really (I couldn’t come up with a better word than different, it’s early and brain hasn’t engaged yet lol) and so I just thought I would start a thread about it.

I have never and will never count sex work as my sex life, it’s work and that’s it for me, if I was to count the number of men I’ve slept with (fuck can you imagine?!) then I would only include men from my private life, whereas men that go with us count us as all conquests but imo if your paying for it, then it doesn’t count because you haven’t ‘conquested’ anything if you have had to pay, you haven’t pulled her in a club and she isn’t sleeping with you because she likes you, she wants the money!


What are your thoughts girls?
« Last Edit: 02 June 2020, 09:11:00 am by TantricTease »

amy

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #1 on: 02 June 2020, 12:23:16 pm »
What are your thoughts girls?

I'm a long way from being a 'girl', but my thought is that we stick to commenting on what we as sex workers think rather than claiming to know what punters do (and we all know how fun it is to be told what we think and feel by those who have no idea) :).

Aside from that yes, work sex is work and nothing to do with my personal life. If I can find the other thread on the subject I'm thinking of (and there is more than one), I'll merge them, but I seem to remember that was the general consensus.
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Mirror

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #2 on: 02 June 2020, 12:33:43 pm »
Not having 'paid' sex for is it 9 or 10 weeks now, has been interesting. I'm not 'gagging for it' but I do miss the entire package I get from it, camming has mitigated this providing excitement and a chance to 'perform' as well as earn some (a fraction) of money.

I would compare it to life as say anyone who takes part in a sport but has a physically active job, the activity in the job means they don't need to do so much formal training for their sport because it's already contributing. They already get benefit from the job towards their fitness and indeed risk over doing it if they tried to do the same as someone in a sedentary job.

Sex in my personal life is different, I am not 'performing' by which I mean being professional providing  a service and fantasy. I have often said I'm reasonably lazy in personal life sex, because I am not in a 'booking' and it can never be like that.

thickthighs

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #3 on: 02 June 2020, 03:09:57 pm »
 there’s a clue in your question work, nothing more

Kay

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #4 on: 02 June 2020, 03:17:16 pm »
It varies/depends for me, really. After relocating I lost my little herd of fuckbuddies, so I have much less civvy sex. In the past I've had regulars that I really looked forward to seeing and had great sex with, so it like having a few friends with benefits but getting paid at the same time, which was great! Since moving, I haven't had the time (nor really the inclination) to do any civvy dating apart from one brief fling. I find in terms of satisfying my sexual needs, bookings can sometimes be just as effective as a recreational shag.
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xw5

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    • I should be updating this instead...
Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #5 on: 02 June 2020, 04:21:50 pm »
Some years ago, I did a conference session on virginities. One of the participants said 'it only counts if you enjoy it', and that may well apply here too.

Who's asking?
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

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Escortx

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #6 on: 02 June 2020, 10:24:41 pm »
No I get nothing out of it except money lol

TantricTease

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #7 on: 02 June 2020, 10:42:46 pm »
No I get nothing out of it except money lol

I didn’t mean that, I just meant regardless of us being in it for the money then do you still count them as your sex life! I agree though, it’s just work sex.

lillybliss

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #8 on: 02 June 2020, 10:43:11 pm »
It's work nothing more and nothing less, the sex I have in my personal life is with the man I love so very diffrent.

TantricTease

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #9 on: 03 June 2020, 05:51:24 am »
I'm a long way from being a 'girl', but my thought is that we stick to commenting on what we as sex workers think rather than claiming to know what punters do (and we all know how fun it is to be told what we think and feel by those who have no idea) :).

Aside from that yes, work sex is work and nothing to do with my personal life. If I can find the other thread on the subject I'm thinking of (and there is more than one), I'll merge them, but I seem to remember that was the general consensus.

I knew that someone would say something about me saying girls and I suspected it would be you Amy, in the nicest possible way!😀 I am aware that we are not girls and that we are women, it’s easier to use the ‘girls’ term collectively than ‘women’, I wouldn’t say “thoughts women”😂😂.

I do know that some men do indeed count booking escorts as their sex life because of what I have read and what I’ve heard, plus they’re men having sex and regardless of how they get the sex then it’s pretty obvious-   unless a person is totally deluded about what men are like- that they are going to count escorts in!!

amy

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #10 on: 03 June 2020, 11:12:38 am »
Well since it's obvious who you're asking it isn't really necessary to call us anything, is it - just 'what do you think?' would do. Especially when not all the posters here (even on this thread) are female :)

Your original post was missing the 'some', which is the important part. But then I don't believe that men are a huge homogenous group who all think exactly the same way about everything, so I'm obviously deluded. And equally obviously if all men are the same then all women must be too?

I don't count work sex because as far as I'm concerned it isn't me having it - my 'work' persona is not me. I suppose if some punters count paid sex in with the rest it might at least in part be because they're doing it for/as themselves :).
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Jackiela

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #11 on: 03 June 2020, 12:06:59 pm »
In my opinion that's why we use work names and not our real names for work that way we can just switch off while whoring and counting ££ while at it. Plus having a sex life it's got to be with someone you click with and no way you can with any Tom, Dick and Harry.

TantricTease

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #12 on: 03 June 2020, 12:47:41 pm »
Well since it's obvious who you're asking it isn't really necessary to call us anything, is it - just 'what do you think?' would do. Especially when not all the posters here (even on this thread) are female :)

Your original post was missing the 'some', which is the important part. But then I don't believe that men are a huge homogenous group who all think exactly the same way about everything, so I'm obviously deluded. And equally obviously if all men are the same then all women must be too?

I don't count work sex because as far as I'm concerned it isn't me having it - my 'work' persona is not me. I suppose if some punters count paid sex in with the rest it might at least in part be because they're doing it for/as themselves :).

I always miss out words these days, I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I do!! 

Though I do get your point now.😀

saltysweet

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #13 on: 03 June 2020, 03:01:48 pm »
Yes I count it as part of my sex life, as I'm not interested in unpaid civvy sex. Most are tons younger than me and a joy to behold physically, exactly what I'm interested in outside of this job. And a good few make a nice effort.  Sex and Go suits me.

Even if no sex occurs it's all a bit of a thrill.

They haven't given me the impression that they view me as a 'conquest', or anything than a pleasant, convenient transaction.
« Last Edit: 03 June 2020, 06:17:34 pm by saltysweet »
Yeah like I'll let the human guineapigs have first dibbs at eating the food that's been sitting in the restaurant freezers for the past 4 months.

KBP

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Re: Do you count sex work as your sex life?
« Reply #14 on: 03 June 2020, 04:58:58 pm »
Yes, it is my entire sex life.

I have got no interest in sexual relationships outside work or any intimate relationship with the opposite sex. I've had my fill of them in this lifetime.  I have some really great sex with clients and I don't have to live with them afterwards, just take their money for services rendered.

I love my job  ;D