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Author Topic: Do I need to toughen up?  (Read 11890 times)

Curvygal

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Do I need to toughen up?
« on: 09 September 2015, 05:28:23 pm »
This might be a bit of an odd question.

So first of all I've been escorting for just over a year - started with an agency then went indie this time last year.  I do outcalls with the odd hotel incall day thrown in.

I was reading through the How Not to Book thread last night, and I looked quite far back because I was in a hotel and bored (some of the things in that thread are priceless!).  But I don't seem to react the way others do..obviously different things annoy different people so that's fair enough - something will always bother someone else but won't bother you...but even the incidents that are blatantly out of order, I'm more inclined to just let go than stand up to them - even if they are really getting on my nerves, I generally just say call me back when you're ready to book (knowing they never will) or say that I don't think I'm the right girl for them and maybe they should contact someone else.  I recently told someone to fuck off for the first time and felt bad for ages after - I never really speak to them like that or deliberately mess them around to get them back.

Am I wrong?  Should I be more assertive and am I coming across as a soft touch?

cheesypeas

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #1 on: 09 September 2015, 05:32:35 pm »
Depends on what works for you.
If you feel good doing it your normal way then that's cool.
Random idle thoughs...Can I manage 100 sit ups a day for a year...?

Curvygal

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #2 on: 09 September 2015, 05:49:48 pm »
Depends on what works for you.
If you feel good doing it your normal way then that's cool.

Yeah - I mean I feel OK, I'm not being nice and seething underneath or anything...but I don't want them to see me as a pushover either...but then I guess that unless they are going on to book me it doesn't really matter does it.  :)

Fabulassie

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #3 on: 09 September 2015, 06:12:26 pm »
Telling people to fuck off isn't a great idea. You may piss off a psycho. Best to disengage professionally and block.

Kay

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #4 on: 09 September 2015, 06:12:51 pm »
I'd say it's only an issue if there was any danger of you seeing a dodgy client - if not, then you're fine as you are. Every one is different!
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

amy

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #5 on: 09 September 2015, 06:15:21 pm »
Yeah - I mean I feel OK, I'm not being nice and seething underneath or anything...but I don't want them to see me as a pushover either...but then I guess that unless they are going on to book me it doesn't really matter does it.  :)

They won't see you as a pushover - they'll be pissed off because they didn't get the reaction they were hoping for and far more so than if you yelled at them or sent them abusive texts, or whatever. The ability to stay in control and politely end the call to get rid of them without a hooha is a massive plus, and I think it's far tougher to do than shrieking or ranting.

If you rang a call centre and asked a load of silly questions or even were very rude to the person who answered, you wouldn't ever hear them tell you to fuck off no matter what you said, and it shouldn't be any different here. I think if you can do this you're well ahead of the people who just can't miss any opportunity to get into a silly argument :).

Siorse

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #6 on: 09 September 2015, 06:52:39 pm »
I think I'm pretty similar to you in this department, I won't let them take the piss or anything, but I do find it hard to be assertive..
I've never told anyone to fuck off (yet  ;)), although there's been many times I've wanted to!!
Even telling a guy (I'd seen him before and he was in my phone as "rough, dirty, don't see again") that he'd probably be better
booking another girl, as I offer GFE and he was talking about "fucking me hard etc. etc...", was quite hard for me, but I was glad I did
it coz I know he won't bother me again.
As long as you tell them politely and reasonably you don't want a booking with them, I think we're doing fine, and we're assertive enough!  ;)
Another thing I've had to learn is that I can't wear myself out on busy days and try and please everyone by giving them ALL a booking,
leaving me totally fucked for the next few days from the stress alone!
Now I'll just tell them, sorry, but I'm really busy today, if you'd like to make a booking for tomorrow that's fine..
If they really want to see me they'll get back to me or take that booking for the next day!
I don't have to be perfect, but I'm perfect at being me!

Lady_Lust_XXX

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #7 on: 09 September 2015, 08:31:52 pm »
I agree with Siorse, if they really want to see you then they will call back.

IMO reacting to something they say ~ no matter how rude ~ is just playing into their hands.

React rudely, not knowing the kind of person you are reacting to, is a bad move, they could be a nut job and unpredictable.  That is how some girls get themselves into horrible situations.

Best to be polite and sensible and tell them to look elsewhere as you don't offer the services they are looking for.
Beauty is nothing to do with having a pretty face.
It is about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart,
And most importantly a beautiful soul.

cheesypeas

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #8 on: 09 September 2015, 08:39:28 pm »
When I terminate the conversation I act totally
disinterested, focused on something else.
They don't like that at all. lol  :D
Random idle thoughs...Can I manage 100 sit ups a day for a year...?

ellie1001

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #9 on: 09 September 2015, 08:52:17 pm »
I would say don't compare yourself to others, especially how others treat clinets or reac in different situations. We all have different way of handling things. You only need to toughen up if you are allowing yourself to do things you're not comfortable with (In which case YES you do need to be a bit tougher) But if you are just worried you are reacting differently to others, but the outcome is the same, just stick to what works for you. Everyone has their own way of coping, and if you are doing fine, there is no reason to change the way you go about things :) You are the only one who has to live your life xx

Midsstudent

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #10 on: 09 September 2015, 09:19:50 pm »
I never am quite so honest as to tell people to fuck off, but occasionally i feel the need to put them in their place sans swearwords. You're probably the one handling it the right way by not saying anything lol.

MsDee

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #11 on: 09 September 2015, 09:27:23 pm »
If someone starts to piss me off, I just advise them to call someone else.  For the past two days I have had a guy text me non stop about an appointment he wants, after telling him to call so many times, until i snapped and told him his appointment was cancelled.  I felt crap afterwards when he responded with "will leave you alone now".  :FF

Curvygal

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #12 on: 09 September 2015, 10:04:26 pm »
Yeah - I mean I feel OK, I'm not being nice and seething underneath or anything...but I don't want them to see me as a pushover either...but then I guess that unless they are going on to book me it doesn't really matter does it.  :)

They won't see you as a pushover - they'll be pissed off because they didn't get the reaction they were hoping for and far more so than if you yelled at them or sent them abusive texts, or whatever. The ability to stay in control and politely end the call to get rid of them without a hooha is a massive plus, and I think it's far tougher to do than shrieking or ranting.

If you rang a call centre and asked a load of silly questions or even were very rude to the person who answered, you wouldn't ever hear them tell you to fuck off no matter what you said, and it shouldn't be any different here. I think if you can do this you're well ahead of the people who just can't miss any opportunity to get into a silly argument :).

Thanks Amy - and you're right with the Call Centre comparison.

I just always try to be professional - the last guy who tried to get a reaction from me kept saying stuff like 'Oh what do you think about those pornos where women give blow jobs to animals?  Have you ever watched one?'  and kept going with more and more extreme stuff until eventually I just said 'Look, you men make me laugh.  You all think you're the first ever to try this stuff.  Do you honestly think I don't realize you're just trying to get a reaction out of me?'  He actually laughed and just admitted it, there was nothing else he could do - well other than hang up.

I felt quite empowered by that one actually!  ;D

Curvygal

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #13 on: 09 September 2015, 10:05:37 pm »
Thanks everyone for your advice and comments.  I'm going to stay as I am I think.   :)

KittenCandy

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #14 on: 09 September 2015, 11:19:14 pm »
I've gotten quite rude over the past couple months actually. It's not good. was just going through my sent folder and my attitude is atrocious and Amy is %100 right. Better to block and ignore. rather than respond rudely. He could be psycho.