Even if the person's harmless it's not the point - every time one of us behaves like this, it reinforces the myth that our job isn't a 'real' job, that we're incapable of behaving professionally and also that by speaking to us this way you're going to get a reaction.
This is precisely what gets my back up when people mention flipping out at a prospective client. Folks generalize a lot, and tend to judge groups of people based on their prior experiences with other 'members' of the group. The more of us reply in a manner that simply wouldn't fly in any other customer-oriented job, the more it feeds into people not viewing the gig as a legitimate self-employment.
You say that replying in a manner that wouldn't fly in any other customer-orientated job is such a bad thing, I need to remind you that the things people say to us aren't the same as what people in other customer-orientated jobs get.
It's completely different no matter how you try to dress it up. If your a hairdresser then there isn't much your potential client or client is going to say to you to offend you the same as if you work as a flight attendant or perhaps in a 5 star resort somewhere, your not gonna get some creepy guy come over and ask to fuck all your holes then start giving you abuse because you didn't respond in a way where he would have liked.
While I completely agree with you in the sense where dealing with these things in a far better way than resorting to swearing or offending them back in the way they offended you isn't exactly the best way to deal with it, I have first hand experience in this......you just can't compare our customers in the sex industry and the behaviour of some of our potential clients to those of a dentist or hair stylist, taxi driver or whatever.
If your in a job where you have a boss and could potentially loose your job over reacting to rude people then I believe that's the only reason (or the main reason) why people don't react and manage to bite the bullet and stay professional.
But in a job like ours where we are the boss of ourselves and who we invite into our homes to have sex with us, this is why so many of us have let our real thoughts and feelings get in the way when it comes to dealing with these undesirable types.
I've bitten many, many times at people who have offended me. Gets me nowhere but biting the bullet and ignoring them is quite difficult sometimes.
I think those who get annoyed at us for reacting when we have been offended need reminding that we're only human and it's actually more natural to react when someone has offended you than it is to keep it all in.
We all have different personalities, some may be calmer than others, some may not give a flying fuck, some may be wasted and not even know what day of the week it is then there's people like me who will be the nicest girl on the planet if you approach me and treat me like a normal person and with a little respect. If you treat me badly, upset me or deliberately hurt me then yes.....I will react because obviously I have a fiery side to me.
Having said all of that, I have learnt recently that you can't argue with ignorance. You can't stop people from saying mean, offensive things so you have to let them get on with their sad little lives and concentrate on being happy and not putting yourself in the position where you let it take up all your energy and dictate to your happiness.