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Author Topic: Do I need to toughen up?  (Read 11530 times)

Shewolf

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #30 on: 04 January 2016, 08:38:12 pm »

I know what you mean, Nova, it's just that sometimes I think the way they ask things is so derogatory. To ask a woman in any context 'can I fuck all your holes' is just wrong.

I see though that to answer in civil manner may make them think again about how disgusting their approach may be. Hard sometimes though :) x

It is derogatory and unacceptable but we have to be better than they are. The service provider has to be professional, or gain a poor reputation. And for those who behave this way to get a reaction, having a go at them is giving them exactly the rise they want. I'm way too stubborn for that.

Yes, I guess don't lower yourself to their level and show them up in the process  :)

amy

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #31 on: 04 January 2016, 09:02:40 pm »
Right, I've moved the last few posts to one of the many threads where this has been discussed previously, which means it can continue without further derailing the HNTBAE thread.

And for the love of God, stop with the giant quotes - please. Some of us are on phones :).

Shewolf

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #32 on: 04 January 2016, 09:08:40 pm »
Thing is, if you respond badly to a weirdo, he may decide to get to see you any way he can by signing up on AW or the site you are on again with a different username etc. It's not worth it.

amy

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #33 on: 04 January 2016, 09:19:33 pm »
Thing is, if you respond badly to a weirdo, he may decide to get to see you any way he can by signing up on AW or the site you are on again with a different username etc. It's not worth it.

Or more likely, just go and buy another SIM card for 99p and use that. I don't imagine many of these people register for the likes of AW.

Even if the person's harmless it's not the point - every time one of us behaves like this, it reinforces the myth that our job isn't a 'real' job, that we're incapable of behaving professionally and also that by speaking to us this way you're going to get a reaction.

The call centre example is already in the thread somewhere, but the same goes for shop assistants, medical professionals, police officers - no matter how rude or abusive a member of the public is to them their job is to be calm, firm and polite when responding. There is no situation I can think of where we'd take something back to a shop or phone somewhere to make a complaint and be routinely told to 'fuck off' no matter how unpleasant we were, and this is no different.

Kay

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #34 on: 04 January 2016, 11:05:50 pm »
While I concur that anyone asking 'Can I fuck all your holes?' is a moron (or a juvenile), I don't see it's something worth getting offended by if you work as an escort, surely? Just ignore them, or say, 'No, sorry'.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

Disciplinarian

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #35 on: 04 January 2016, 11:11:11 pm »
Have to agree with politeness at all times, as much as it's dammned difficult. If all wg's were civil and no lies on profiles, sites [punting forums] would shrivel and die. The way to beat the arseholes is to be better than them not worse.

Although if you ask me about this in 20 years I may well have a different opinion :)



off topic content removed
« Last Edit: 04 January 2016, 11:29:56 pm by amy »

Different

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #36 on: 05 January 2016, 12:08:35 am »
Agreed with most ladies
I have been impolite on the phone and received a negative feedback on the punter's forum. It escalated to quite a few - all of them just complaining about my phone manners. It has not spoiled my business or anythhing, but it felt unpleasant. Since then I just tell them "That is not going to happen between us and block them
Regards
Julie
looking for ladies to work/share accommodation with

Kendra Glasgow

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #37 on: 05 January 2016, 12:44:00 am »
Telling people to fuck off isn't a great idea. You may piss off a psycho. Best to disengage professionally and block.

This is so true, I've told so many of the guys that offend me to fuck off because "fuck off" is a natural thought to have when someone has offended you no matter who you are.

Most people don't say what they are thinking (which is the better way) but others do (me).

I try my best not to now because it's never done me any good.

Any time you react to someone that's offended you, they can't understand they have offended you because they are so ignorant so all it causes is abuse, harassment and occasionally egging on a complete nutcase.

So best to say nothing, especially not fuck off. I learnt the hard way.

xx

Candy

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #38 on: 05 January 2016, 01:03:00 am »
I rather don't be rude. I just sms that its not the way to make a booking and tell them to don't call me or sms me anymore.
The last thing you want is in ravange have a tw booking to an outcall, cause you did name him badly.
He came in the morning and woke me up with killer instinct. Wish I could stop this now.

The_Lynx

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #39 on: 05 January 2016, 01:08:05 pm »
Even if the person's harmless it's not the point - every time one of us behaves like this, it reinforces the myth that our job isn't a 'real' job, that we're incapable of behaving professionally and also that by speaking to us this way you're going to get a reaction.

This is precisely what gets my back up when people mention flipping out at a prospective client. Folks generalize a lot, and tend to judge groups of people based on their prior experiences with other 'members' of the group. The more of us reply in a manner that simply wouldn't fly in any other customer-oriented job, the more it feeds into people not viewing the gig as a legitimate self-employment.

Shewolf

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #40 on: 05 January 2016, 03:25:44 pm »
Even if the person's harmless it's not the point - every time one of us behaves like this, it reinforces the myth that our job isn't a 'real' job, that we're incapable of behaving professionally and also that by speaking to us this way you're going to get a reaction.

This is precisely what gets my back up when people mention flipping out at a prospective client. Folks generalize a lot, and tend to judge groups of people based on their prior experiences with other 'members' of the group. The more of us reply in a manner that simply wouldn't fly in any other customer-oriented job, the more it feeds into people not viewing the gig as a legitimate self-employment.

Yes, that makes a lot of sense.

Kendra Glasgow

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #41 on: 05 January 2016, 03:45:03 pm »
Even if the person's harmless it's not the point - every time one of us behaves like this, it reinforces the myth that our job isn't a 'real' job, that we're incapable of behaving professionally and also that by speaking to us this way you're going to get a reaction.

This is precisely what gets my back up when people mention flipping out at a prospective client. Folks generalize a lot, and tend to judge groups of people based on their prior experiences with other 'members' of the group. The more of us reply in a manner that simply wouldn't fly in any other customer-oriented job, the more it feeds into people not viewing the gig as a legitimate self-employment.

You say that replying in a manner that wouldn't fly in any other customer-orientated job is such a bad thing, I need to remind you that the things people say to us aren't the same as what people in other customer-orientated jobs get.

It's completely different no matter how you try to dress it up. If your a hairdresser then there isn't much your potential client or client is going to say to you to offend you the same as if you work as a flight attendant or perhaps in a 5 star resort somewhere, your not gonna get some creepy guy come over and ask to fuck all your holes then start giving you abuse because you didn't respond in a way where he would have liked.

While I completely agree with you in the sense where dealing with these things in a far better way than resorting to swearing or offending them back in the way they offended you isn't exactly the best way to deal with it, I have first hand experience in this......you just can't compare our customers in the sex industry and the behaviour of some of our potential clients to those of a dentist or hair stylist, taxi driver or whatever.

If your in a job where you have a boss and could potentially loose your job over reacting to rude people then I believe that's the only reason (or the main reason) why people don't react and manage to bite the bullet and stay professional.

But in a job like ours where we are the boss of ourselves and who we invite into our homes to have sex with us, this is why so many of us have let our real thoughts and feelings get in the way when it comes to dealing with these undesirable types.

I've bitten many, many times at people who have offended me. Gets me nowhere but biting the bullet and ignoring them is quite difficult sometimes.

I think those who get annoyed at us for reacting when we have been offended need reminding that we're only human and it's actually more natural to react when someone has offended you than it is to keep it all in.

We all have different personalities, some may be calmer than others, some may not give a flying fuck, some may be wasted and not even know what day of the week it is then there's people like me who will be the nicest girl on the planet if you approach me and treat me like a normal person and with a little respect. If you treat me badly, upset me or deliberately hurt me then yes.....I will react because obviously I have a fiery side to me.

Having said all of that, I have learnt recently that you can't argue with ignorance. You can't stop people from saying mean, offensive things so you have to let them get on with their sad little lives and concentrate on being happy and not putting yourself in the position where you let it take up all your energy and dictate to your happiness.

Jezabel

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #42 on: 05 January 2016, 04:16:28 pm »

I know what you mean, Nova, it's just that sometimes I think the way they ask things is so derogatory. To ask a woman in any context 'can I fuck all your holes' is just wrong.

I see though that to answer in civil manner may make them think again about how disgusting their approach may be. Hard sometimes though :) x

It is derogatory and unacceptable but we have to be better than they are. The service provider has to be professional, or gain a poor reputation. And for those who behave this way to get a reaction, having a go at them is giving them exactly the rise they want. I'm way too stubborn for that.

Yes, I guess don't lower yourself to their level and show them up in the process  :)

Absolutely I've had many jobs and disrespect is all about how you say something not just what is said.  I am fiery by nature but I will not lower myself. I bite my tongue and sometimes I will tell them its disrespectful sometimes I will just say, well I'm not for you.  If I've ever felt in danger of losing my temper I've hung up, I have enough things to deal with in my real life without inviting work problems.

Im not perfect I make mistakes but the only time I've really lost it in work time was over something far far worse than a bit of disrespect on the phone.

I also recall during a booking when a client made some sort of statement about 'all holes'. Admittedly he was a first timer and I was the first escort he'd seen but still...I pulled him up and said Don't talk like that' and when he asked why I said it was dehumanizing and disrespectful. I'm not defending him but I think this was down to ignorance and porn culture. Of course you will get others guys doing I deliberately to wind you up...but why rise to it, that's exactly what they want.

Of course we must all find our own paths but for me retaliating rudely is both unprofessional and just not worth the aggro.
« Last Edit: 05 January 2016, 04:52:19 pm by Jezabel »

Kay

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #43 on: 05 January 2016, 05:27:44 pm »
Kendra - you've obviously never read some flight attendants' tales: they are sexually harassed, sometimes threateningly, all the time. And if you actually choose to work as an escort, then you immediately open yourself up to being contacted by all sorts of weirdos. It's just part and parcel of the job, and not worth getting into any aggro over.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

mature helen

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Re: Do I need to toughen up?
« Reply #44 on: 05 January 2016, 06:28:11 pm »
So are nurses, the police, firefighters, paramedics.
Many public servants are abused by the general public on a daily basis yet they still have to keep their cool and stay professional, we have it easier because we don't have a boss we CAN put the phone down and refuse to speak to the twats of this world.