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Author Topic: Describe your last booking  (Read 716124 times)

heather3

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #375 on: 04 September 2015, 03:10:34 pm »
..oh dear, I felt a little sick reading that...he didn't need a shower he needed an industrial clean (a few days ffs) - and a dump in your premises - I know when mother natures calls she calls but honestly sound effects and all...if only people knew what we have to put up with- he sounded a right 'old' charmer! 

Midsummer

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #376 on: 04 September 2015, 03:33:16 pm »
Kay - Yep, that's what he said. Can't believe he admitted to it! If he hadn't agreed to a shower I would have insisted..!

Heather - Haha, I've had worse. If you know you'll be loud, at least put the sink on or something. I guess at that age you're quite comfortable with yourself  ;D I hate when clients go for a wee and don't close the door, I know we have been/will be intimate, but dude.. I don't need to hear that.

heather3

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #377 on: 04 September 2015, 03:51:01 pm »
..I know where did these men grow up, in barns, I agree I hate it when they pee, leave the door open and keep chatting to me, while they are peeing.... that made my day, . 'dude I don't need to hear that.....' I am going to say that next time a client takes a loud dump or pisses with the door open - 'hey dude I don't need to hear that'  hahaa...

Vichyssoise

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #378 on: 08 September 2015, 08:46:49 am »
Nice guy in his 30s has been coming to me almost weekly for a couple of months. Started off with an hour appointments as I didn't do half hours, he was done in twenty minutes I felt bad taking his money so offered him half hour which he took. Yesterday eve he came as usual we barely got in the bedroom when he was all over me, skirt up arsed spanked, cock out and cum all over my behind. All in seven minutes. Suit and tie all still in place. I still feel a little bad taking his money but I definately don't offer 15 minutes. He is so nice as well I would love to chat awhile.
Be in your happy place

fancypants

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #379 on: 08 September 2015, 03:52:34 pm »
In the woods..........I got stung and bitched slapped by a tree  >:(   
" Some will; Some won't; So what? Next!"

Treetop

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #380 on: 08 September 2015, 04:02:01 pm »
In the woods..........I got stung and bitched slapped by a tree  >:(   


How? What? Exhibitionist booking gone horrible wrong?  Not sure I should be laughing, sorry but just so curious as to how that happened...

fancypants

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #381 on: 08 September 2015, 05:17:31 pm »

It was on my regulars to-do list and mine as well plus it's cheaper than a hotel ( joke, I don't under any circumstances condone using the woods for in calls even if the call of nature calls ) : )

I was little red riding wood! wood being the operative word. I got more action from the twigs and the wild life than I did from my client.

He got scared every time a twig snapped so we spent most of the time undressing, dressing, undressing, dressing. Anyway we ended up not doing anything apart from lots of walking around, hiding from joggers and running from a giant bugs! I stupidly wore high heels.

He was at the front leading the way and obviously forgot  that I'm only hobbit size so all the branches he went through ended up continually bitch slapping me in the face!   >:(   Today I have come up in rashes grr
" Some will; Some won't; So what? Next!"

Secret-Whore

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #382 on: 09 September 2015, 08:30:34 am »
I had a client that I see every time I do incalls (I primarily do outcalls) who makes me uncomfortable whenever I see him because he's always talking about taking me out, despite us already acknowledging that I don't do unpaid meets and he is unwilling to pay me for my time if he's not getting laid. Anyway, he gets out the money and I leave it on the table when I go to freshen up. I come back and he asks 'I gave you the money, didn't I?' It's gone from the table and instantly know what's up, but don't want to accuse him and make it awkward. I pretend to look for the money whilst he is trying to kiss me and pull me into bed. I then say 'You know, I can't seem to find that cash anywhere.' He jumps up and immediately pulls it out of his jeans pocket saying 'Oh gosh, I must have picked it up accidentally. Sorry!'
I was steaming mad, but I continued with the booking. When I pulled back his foreskin there was all this... Matter underneath and it was hideous. He tried to say it was toilet paper but it looked more like pus. Fucking disgusting idiot. Then he tried to overstay by asking for 'post-coital cuddles' and talking incessantly whilst putting on his clothes and giving me this extended goodbye, punctuated by kisses. ARGH! Just get out, cunt, I have other clients.

geordie

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #383 on: 09 September 2015, 09:37:04 am »
I had a client that I see every time I do incalls (I primarily do outcalls) who makes me uncomfortable whenever I see him because he's always talking about taking me out, despite us already acknowledging that I don't do unpaid meets and he is unwilling to pay me for my time if he's not getting laid. Anyway, he gets out the money and I leave it on the table when I go to freshen up. I come back and he asks 'I gave you the money, didn't I?' It's gone from the table and instantly know what's up, but don't want to accuse him and make it awkward. I pretend to look for the money whilst he is trying to kiss me and pull me into bed. I then say 'You know, I can't seem to find that cash anywhere.' He jumps up and immediately pulls it out of his jeans pocket saying 'Oh gosh, I must have picked it up accidentally. Sorry!'
I was steaming mad, but I continued with the booking. When I pulled back his foreskin there was all this... Matter underneath and it was hideous. He tried to say it was toilet paper but it looked more like pus. Fucking disgusting idiot. Then he tried to overstay by asking for 'post-coital cuddles' and talking incessantly whilst putting on his clothes and giving me this extended goodbye, punctuated by kisses. ARGH! Just get out, cunt, I have other clients.

= barred. Would have kicked him out as soon as he took back the money. Knobs

Red KB

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #384 on: 09 September 2015, 09:52:18 am »
^^ Definitely!
We're women, it's what we do. I just get paid for it.

Red KB

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #385 on: 09 September 2015, 11:01:27 am »
Guys turns up, (I'd had him pegged as a no show). Pulls ?25 out of his pocket and said he thought he had more and where is the nearest cashpoint. Thankfully not too far away but I thought that would be the last I saw of him. Then he handed me ?20 and said he was serious and he'd be back soon! He came back.
We're women, it's what we do. I just get paid for it.

Siorse

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #386 on: 09 September 2015, 11:14:05 am »
I had a client that I see every time I do incalls (I primarily do outcalls) who makes me uncomfortable whenever I see him because he's always talking about taking me out, despite us already acknowledging that I don't do unpaid meets and he is unwilling to pay me for my time if he's not getting laid. Anyway, he gets out the money and I leave it on the table when I go to freshen up. I come back and he asks 'I gave you the money, didn't I?' It's gone from the table and instantly know what's up, but don't want to accuse him and make it awkward. I pretend to look for the money whilst he is trying to kiss me and pull me into bed. I then say 'You know, I can't seem to find that cash anywhere.' He jumps up and immediately pulls it out of his jeans pocket saying 'Oh gosh, I must have picked it up accidentally. Sorry!'
I was steaming mad, but I continued with the booking. When I pulled back his foreskin there was all this... Matter underneath and it was hideous. He tried to say it was toilet paper but it looked more like pus. Fucking disgusting idiot. Then he tried to overstay by asking for 'post-coital cuddles' and talking incessantly whilst putting on his clothes and giving me this extended goodbye, punctuated by kisses. ARGH! Just get out, cunt, I have other clients.

Unbelievable..!!! I think I would've either slapped him or worse, or hit him over the head with something and took all the cash he had on him  ;D
The cheek of it! He probably thought you wouldn't notice and get away with it..
Good on ye for being on the ball!!
I never leave the money lying about exactly for that reason, I try and put it in another room, or put it in a tin so I can hear it if they're
tampering with it if I have to leave the room..
I don't have to be perfect, but I'm perfect at being me!

geordie

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #387 on: 09 September 2015, 12:45:41 pm »
Guys turns up, (I'd had him pegged as a no show). Pulls ?25 out of his pocket and said he thought he had more and where is the nearest cashpoint. Thankfully not too far away but I thought that would be the last I saw of him. Then he handed me ?20 and said he was serious and he'd be back soon! He came back.

Reminds me of a guy I had a while ago doing the whole 'I left my wallet in the car' trick. Turns out he actually did, I watched him out of the window run down the street and run straight back!  ;D

cheesypeas

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #388 on: 09 September 2015, 09:48:05 pm »
Back from my holidays...
I'm a little round, porky blimp.
Client requests a bikini  ???
I was going to throw it away last night in a mad clear-out.

He seemed to think it was best thing since sliced Hovis. :-\
« Last Edit: 09 September 2015, 09:57:41 pm by cheesypeas »
Random idle thoughs...Can I manage 100 sit ups a day for a year...?

ellie1001

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Re: Describe your last booking
« Reply #389 on: 10 September 2015, 12:38:42 pm »
Very very attractive client, early 40s, who's been a regular for a few months. He's a nice guy and always books 2 hours, most of which we spend talking once we've taken care of bussiness. I like his bookings because it's just so easy and chill (even if I do run out of things to talk about)
Anyway, when he arrives he says this will be his last booking and doesn't give a reason, which is fine. Then just as the 2 hours are up, he starts crying  :o And I mean REALLY REALLY crying, saying he is getting back together with his wife, and he is really sorry he has to leave me. He then starts clinging to me like I imagine a lost child would and just saying sorry, sorry, sorry.
I mean... what? I've never had anything like it. He seemed completely normal before that....  ::)