Ha, I've had a grand total of TWO clients leave poop stains on my bed. And I always make 'em shower so they obviously had never learned about TURNING AROUND in the shower to wash both ends. Plus, even if they were careful not to wipe their bums on my bedsheets (I use cheap blankets now so they're sort of disposable in case of accidents - definitely recommended if you like to buy expensive bedcovers for everyone to enjoy - keep them safe from the poopy ones!) don't they realise that any woman who has to put her head near their crotches is going to get the most godawful whiff of sweaty-pooey-bumcrack?! I say now to any random clients perusing this escort safety/discussion board for whatever mysterious reason: while in the shower, soap up your hands and use those soapy hands to thoroughly clean between the arsecheeks and all around your scrotum because if you can't put your hands down there, we cannot put our heads down their either. Note: don't soap your actual penis (more than once a day?) as it may lead to dry skin and redness/flaking. Just use lots of water and your fingers to pull the foreskin back etc... oh wait, you do know all about your penises, so I won't go on. Just don't forget your bum!

And in the case of sharting... oh god. If you shart when sexually excited, how about you just stay home?

As this is a totally vile thread i will add to the horror with the sincerest of aplogies for anyone who is eating their tea or is about to commence doing so.

An escort friend of mine (and thats really true,its not me trying to cover my shame by pretending to be someone else ) Once saw a client who wanted her to use a dildo on him,he was an agency client who she disliked intensely to start with so she said she throughly enjoyed trying to cause the maximum of damage whilst carrying out the act! When she withdrew the dildo from where the sun dont shine it was covered in poop and the client then asked her to force him to lick the brown stuff off it

Aplologies to anyone who is now feeling the urge to be violently sick!!

Thank god, I haven't had the licking off thing, eww, but I notice there is an increasing number of clients who want prostate massages and dildos up their bums.

I am sure, just as with anal sex, their  interest has been awakend by watching porn movies, which unfortunately don't show them how to prepare properly for backdoor encounters.

I am now prepared for the pooey ones, I now have latex gloves at the ready, I have a special bum dildo, which in its off-duty times floats in a bath of dettol and a couple of old towels under the bed, who also have the pleasure of regularly bathing with dr dettol.