SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Steelbunz on 25 December 2024, 09:43:20 pm
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I know many escorts have a warning on their page saying if a client asks for BB they will be blocked. Despite having this I get contacted daily for it.
Just wondering how you guys are responding to clients who still ask. Or do you just ignore and block? X
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I blocked him because since you started answering him, they only waste your time and energy...
they don't care about their health and they are sick in the head...
honestly, I personally find it disgusting to be with a man who asks BB because I think he does it with anyone without a condom. It's also possible that when he does doggi he breaks or takes off the condom...
it's very dangerous to be with a person like that and that only brings diseases... that's why I block them since they ask me BB...///
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Thank you for sharing. I was pmsing yesterday and snapped at one. I took find it disgusting to be with someone who asks.
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This is always an emotive subject and the BB pushers annoy all of us to some extent I'm sure, however it's always worth keeping in mind that most people who are sexually active will be engaging in BB with someone, be that a wife, partner, civvy, escort etc and are potentially less likely to be undertaking regular screening.
So on that basis all we can do is look after our own sexual health by choosing to cover up .
I don't think all those asking for BB are actually looking for it, imo a large percentage of them are trying to avoid under the counter/radar providers who have no BB on their profile but offer it on the QT when asked.
I've pulled several up for asking, a minority say that is actually what they are looking for but others are relieved that it's a no as that is reassuring to them, I have pointed out to a couple of them that they are shooting themselves in the foot by asking but they say it's the only way they know of to find out if a girl provides in secret so they can avoid her.
I've seen a fair few of the relieved kind and never had an issue with stealthing or breakages and have actually found them to be more risk adverse asking for OW and not engaging in RO.
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I have noticed a large increase in people asking for it. Infact, I had someone ask to creampie me yesterday. It is frustrating, and I do state that I will block anyone who asks, so I do. I used to tell them that I don't offer BB, but now I just save my breath and block.
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This is always an emotive subject and the BB pushers annoy all of us to some extent I'm sure [snip]
What is your approach if a person asks for BB during a booking? I have had punters/clients ask me, sometimes it's been 'merely' asking if they can ejaculate over my labia - offering to show me their test results on their phone. I do tend to have a knee jerk reaction possibly because some have 'accidentally' done this, although at the time I moved like a flash out of the way. Once or twice punters have after removing the condom for stimulation by hand or oral, because they could not maintain an erection when wearing a condom, have then suggested 'What I need is this [looking at their unprotected cock] in there [pointing at my vagina]'. Is that a test? The last person to make this suggestion was also a boundary pusher in other ways, mostly actually making the booking(s), lots of faffing about the deposit which I am very clear about, and cancelling, so having been patient for a while I banned him for the combination of difficulties.
[giant quote redacted]
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I don't get asked for services I don't offer that often (although I've had it more than usual over the last few weeks - OWO and RO specifically and each time in person, which isn't what the OP is asking about) and my site and ads are clear which services these are. I've never understood the frothing about BB specifically, tbh - some people offer it and some don't, just like everything else.
I don't see any need to tell punters what your screening methods are or when and why they'll get blocked, I just do it. I suspect that having text on your ads that does might put at least some of them on the wind up (which applies to ranty/whiny profile text generally), plus knowing they're blocked (or likely to be) makes it more likely they'll just get a new number and you have to start again.
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What is your approach if a person asks for BB during a booking?
I quite simply tell them no, I try and keep it light and friendly and will often give a small chuckle along with not in my bookings hun sorry I don't play bare ever., I will also if they are trying to hump me put my hand over my bits and twist my hips to one side and tell them the pink bits don't meet till the cover is on.
I've had very very few issues with this approach and only had to actually stop 2 guys and ask them to leave in my 9 years working.
If I get the I can't stay hard with a condom then I tell them it will be oral and hand only then. The same goes for condom wilt, there are many ways to satisfaction that do not involve my fanny and it's always a no to Cumming over it as well.
If they have been an utter pain in the arse then I save them as such and simply don't allow them another booking or block them.
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I quite simply tell them no, I try and keep it light and friendly and will often give a small chuckle along with not in my bookings hun sorry I don't play bare ever., I will also if they are trying to hump me put my hand over my bits and twist my hips to one side and tell them the pink bits don't meet till the cover is on.
I've had very very few issues with this approach and only had to actually stop 2 guys and ask them to leave in my 9 years working.
If I get the I can't stay hard with a condom then I tell them it will be oral and hand only then. The same goes for condom wilt, there are many ways to satisfaction that do not involve my fanny and it's always a no to Cumming over it as well.
If they have been an utter pain in the arse then I save them as such and simply don't allow them another booking or block them.
Thanks yes I usually bat it off, tell them I don't have unprotected intercourse with anyone, explain better safe than sorry. Some get the message, one person argued insistent he would show me his results, another mentioned it 3 times,
The most alarming was when a regular thought he was inside me without a condom on, he remarked 'I didn't think you did it without'. I stopped to check yes condom still on, but for that split second my heart skipped a beat. I must have looked so horrified he apologised both then and later. Can't remember the exact sequence but we'd stopped then restarted intercourse, he either hadn't noticed I'd replaced the condom, or he thought I'd removed without replacing. But he was quite happy thinking he was condomless. My horror was two fold, part safety but also because I've never ever had unprotected intercourse with my husband (we have always used condoms. If I would ever have unprotected I'd want it to be with him, but this won't happen whilst I'm having sex with other partners.
To go back to the OK I tend to judge each enquiry individually, depends on how the person comes across. If he's been difficult or an idiot it's an easy reason to stop and refuse. What's very interesting are those who reason 'You don't offer it so I figure you are safe to have unprotected sex with', or the enquirer says they are married 'therefore clean and safe for unprotected intercourse'. :FF
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Recently I've started checking their feedback to see if they had seen any escorts who offer BB before letting them book. I do this to avoid the clients who ask or just go for BB in the meet. Escorting is a vulnerable job and I just can't bring myself to trust a client who doesn't even care about his own life.
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Escorting is a vulnerable job and I just can't bring myself to trust a client who doesn't even care about his own life.
Smoking is more likely to kill Joe Punter than anything he picks up from having sex - do you turn away smokers on the grounds that 'they don't care about their life?'
Recently I've started checking their feedback to see if they had seen any escorts who offer BB before letting them book
What is the point though? You don't know whether the punter had unprotected sex during his booking any more than you know whether or not the 'acceptable' punter you saw later on had fully protected sex and oral and then went out on the weekend and shagged one or more randoms without using condoms at all? Or does BB on the sly with his regular, and so on; all you'll achieve is driving yourself round the bend.
How other people have sex and with whom is not our concern, and if you're this obsessive about it it suggests that you're not comfortable with the risks you're taking - why not just concentrate on protecting yourself? I couldn't care less what any of them are doing outwith their bookings, because I just treat them all like they're riddled :D
Apart from anything else if you only plan to see punters who have AW feedback you can look at, you're blocking off every one who doesn't have an account there and making it hard to advertise in other places. There are things I'm happy to let cost me money, but this isn't one of them.
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I don’t get the issue around BB either, the same as Amy.
Some offer it and some don’t, just like any other service. I’ve had lots of unprotected sex in the past, and I never had a problem, yet, I have caught oral gonorrhoea more than once from offering OWO.
I get asked for other services I don’t offer but I’m not going to do them so I just say ‘No.’ A pushy punter doesn’t get a booking with me anyway.
I assume that clients are having unprotected sex everywhere. All I can do is protect myself as much as possible because I choose to offer OWO.
Fingers crossed, it’s been a few years since I’ve caught gonorrhoea but I do have problems with thrush so I don’t offering fingering and try to limit oral on me.
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Smoking is more likely to kill Joe Punter than anything he picks up from having sex - do you turn away smokers on the grounds that 'they don't care about their life?'
What is the point though? You don't know whether the punter had unprotected sex during his booking any more than you know whether or not the 'acceptable' punter you saw later on had fully protected sex and oral and then went out on the weekend and shagged one or more randoms without using condoms at all? Or does BB on the sly with his regular, and so on; all you'll achieve is driving yourself round the bend.
How other people have sex and with whom is not our concern, and if you're this obsessive about it it suggests that you're not comfortable with the risks you're taking - why not just concentrate on protecting yourself? I couldn't care less what any of them are doing outwith their bookings, because I just treat them all like they're riddled :D
Apart from anything else if you only plan to see punters who have AW feedback you can look at, you're blocking off every one who doesn't have an account there and making it hard to advertise in other places. There are things I'm happy to let cost me money, but this isn't one of them.
A client who smokes isn't going to suddenly pressure you into smoking in a meet and get violent when you refuse and smoking is only a risk over time. With STD's all it takes is the one time. So its an obvious difference.
Of course I am not comfortable risking my health which is why I'm concentrating on protecting myself from boundary pushing clients. A Punter who frequent BB escorts is a bigger risk than others again obvious reasons.
Just having an account isn't enough to book me. I don't see clients with no recent positive feedback. I am a single mum so risking my health/safety an unfair risk to my children.
I'm sorry if you read my post as a criticism of how you work. It was not my intention. Everyone does things differently. Just because I do it my way is not a criticism of you or anyone other than the boundary pushing punters I have to deal with.
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A client who smokes isn't going to suddenly pressure you into smoking in a meet and get violent when you refuse and smoking is only a risk over time. With STD's all it takes is the one time. So its an obvious difference.
Of course I am not comfortable risking my health which is why I'm concentrating on protecting myself from boundary pushing clients. A Punter who frequent BB escorts is a bigger risk than others again obvious reasons.
Just having an account isn't enough to book me. I don't see clients with no recent positive feedback. I am a single mum so risking my health/safety an unfair risk to my children.
I'm sorry if you read my post as a criticism of how you work. It was not my intention. Everyone does things differently. Just because I do it my way is not a criticism of you or anyone other than the boundary pushing punters I have to deal with.
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This job is risky .. in more ways than one! But its high reward (thats why we do it). AW reviews are bs so many guys have fake reviews all you need to do is ask to trade positive reviews, I just made a new account so I have 0 reviews and someone offered to send me a fake one to help me (I declined). You don't know who is doing BB in or outside of punting, especially if they are regular dating off dating apps/in clubs etc, don't really see the point in being this paranoid, if it is a huge concern I wouldn't do FS. Massage and HR seems way less risky imo...
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Just like there is a market for BB escorts there is also a massive market for safe sex escorts. Each to their own but escorts should be allowed to make the choice to have safe sex and still offer FS not just massage or HR.
I just wish client who wants BB would just stick to BB escorts. There are so many. Why bother the ones who's profile state that they passionately against it.
BB or safe sex isn't the issue here. The issue is clients boundary pushing before or actually in meets for services escorts don't offer.
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BB or safe sex isn't the issue here. The issue is clients boundary pushing before or actually in meets for services escorts don't offer.
Yes I've been badgered for anal, I don't offer it full stop.
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Just like there is a market for BB escorts there is also a massive market for safe sex escorts. Each to their own but escorts should be allowed to make the choice to have safe sex and still offer FS not just massage or HR.
I just wish client who wants BB would just stick to BB escorts. There are so many. Why bother the ones who's profile state that they passionately against it.
BB or safe sex isn't the issue here. The issue is clients boundary pushing before or actually in meets for services escorts don't offer.
Understood, it's just there are also girls who do not list BB but will do it after being contacted, or they may be short on cash and do it occasionally. There's no fool proof method to avoid them, you can only provide covered services with some risk or avoid it altogether. E.g. you can get HPV or HSV1/2 from skin to skin, kissing, RO etc
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A client who smokes isn't going to suddenly pressure you into smoking in a meet and get violent when you refuse and smoking is only a risk over time. With STD's all it takes is the one time. So its an obvious difference.
I responded directly to your post, which said you didn't want to see punters who 'didn't care about their life'. You didn't mention anything about violence, which is a separate issue altogether and could happen in any booking for any reason, regardless of the services you offer.
Of course I am not comfortable risking my health which is why I'm concentrating on protecting myself from boundary pushing clients. A Punter who frequent BB escorts is a bigger risk than others again obvious reasons.
Just having an account isn't enough to book me. I don't see clients with no recent positive feedback. I am a single mum so risking my health/safety an unfair risk to my children.
I'm sorry if you read my post as a criticism of how you work. It was not my intention. Everyone does things differently. Just because I do it my way is not a criticism of you or anyone other than the boundary pushing punters I have to deal with.
You're right that I don't care for Adultwork (and I only take bookings by text, so even if a punter did find me on there I would never know whether they even have an account, let alone feedback), but I didn't read anything as critical of the way I work; you don't know the way I work? I was pointing out that you're seriously limiting your options (and therefore your earning potential) because you're choosing to narrow your choice of punters by screening them in a way that isn't practical or useful, as well as limiting your advertising to one (crap, and getting crapper by the day) website.
Your thread starter was about how putting something on your AW profile page to deter punters who want services you don't offer didn't seem to be working. The likely reason for this is because a huge majority of punters who use the site read barely anything beyond the phone number, and that's been true for the seventeen years I've had an ad on there. The group of potential customers you're starting with - as you're finding - is already skewed toward being (at best) a pain in the arse.
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Smoking is more likely to kill Joe Punter than anything he picks up from having sex - do you turn away smokers on the grounds that 'they don't care about their life?'
What is the point though? You don't know whether the punter had unprotected sex during his booking any more than you know whether or not the 'acceptable' punter you saw later on had fully protected sex and oral and then went out on the weekend and shagged one or more randoms without using condoms at all? Or does BB on the sly with his regular, and so on; all you'll achieve is driving yourself round the bend.
How other people have sex and with whom is not our concern, and if you're this obsessive about it it suggests that you're not comfortable with the risks you're taking - why not just concentrate on protecting yourself? I couldn't care less what any of them are doing outwith their bookings, because I just treat them all like they're riddled :D
Apart from anything else if you only plan to see punters who have AW feedback you can look at, you're blocking off every one who doesn't have an account there and making it hard to advertise in other places. There are things I'm happy to let cost me money, but this isn't one of them.
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Amy sorry but I see why she checks the feedback as I do myself
If it helps limit the risk even slightly of seeing a potential bare backer I’m all for it
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You can never know how much unprotected sex a client is having and with whom, the only thing I can do is always use condoms myself for sex (I a prefer to use for oral too, I have a little check for any unsightly 'lumps' even if they might just be skin tags, just to be sure and avoid CIM) and get regular checks. For me, anything is adding unnecessary anxiety and stress, and escorting brings enough of that as is! :) I think some guys ask for 'taboo' services like BB/hardsports/age play to try and get a reaction and get under a provider's skin. Best to just block/ ignore.
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Amy sorry but I see why she checks the feedback as I do myself
I'm sure lots of people do and everybody screens differently (I habitually turn down anybody who doesn't address me by name in a text or refers to bookings/incalls as 'meets'), but it remains important to point out that whilst it might make them/you feel better, you're just pissing in the wind and it does nothing whatsoever to reduce risk.
I may well have seen thousands of these punters over the last few years. It makes no odds to me because I use condoms, which means I don't need to speculate about previous behaviour that I have no way of knowing anything about.
I think some guys ask for 'taboo' services like BB/hardsports/age play to try and get a reaction and get under a provider's skin. Best to just block/ ignore.
Yes that's what I meant in my first post about having ranty stuff in your marketing material can put them on the wind up. Some people are a lot easier to wind up than others, it's generally pretty obvious from their ads, and the fantasists get off on the reactions they get; we've had no shortage of posters here over the years who would have been God's gift to these numpties.
Anyway, as the OP has already said, her question is about boundary pushing punters asking for services she doesn't offer, not about what those services are.
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Amy sorry but I see why she checks the feedback as I do myself
If it helps limit the risk even slightly of seeing a potential bare backer I’m all for it
Checking feedback is great but that’s only if they have it ! I can only get feedback on about 5% of my clients.
I think if it’s an experienced and intelligent client they are going to put their health first. It’s the time wasters asking for BB usually. Even if you see them (covered obviously) after they requested it they are likely to be an arrogant dimwit.