Hey, it sounds like you're going through it, so no wonder your emotions are in flux right now.

On a smaller scale I've been trying to work out how to balance work and the rest of my life. I've been trying to see how my attitudes affect my approach to work. When I work part time at home I'm always ready to say yes to a booking, to try and squeeze it in around other commitments which means I'm sometimes rushing away from daily life commitments and not fully enjoying them.
When I'm on tour I really enjoy the endurance challenge aspect of it, pushing myself to see as many as possible, increasing my targets if its going well.
But all that means I'm wearing myself down. I've just come home from a 3 week tour, am supposed to be resting for a couple of days and yesterday a regular asked to see me. I said yes then I didn't give him great service because I was exhausted.

I guess the question I'm asking myself is 'how much is enough?'. Can I bring boundaries into myself that I haven't had before in order to slow this job down and make it manageable long term.

I'm not gong to speak to the parenting part of your question as that's not in my experience but if you are financially comfortable right now, can you experiment with working less? Find ways to say no to work and see how it sits with you.
But also remember that this is a time of upheaval and you don't have to make any big decisions straight away.
I hope things get easier for you. X

Although I don't have the children dilemma (too late), I do recognise the way in which I adapt my life to fit the job. I happily offer a wide variety of social & social booking times. I have learned to install boundaries for example limits on advance bookings (4 months ahead), but currently due to enough evening and weekend regulars becoming unreliable I'm considering further changes. It's basically not fair.

Back to finances I think it's difficult to step back, but perhaps time to take that leap. You have property, and some things in life are priceless.

Hi Gypsy, Sorry to hear your having a tough time, your mental health is important and so is being happy. I do have kids over 18 so I started late to Escorting at 37. For me I value family and do Escorting so I can spend more time being home, Help my kids financially and can afford to live comfortably and a mostly stress free life but I'll never rake it in and I'm ok with that, I value my free time over work or clients and I work around my life, Set aside 2 weeks to work and two weeks off.

You can have the life you want but with everything sacrifices need to be made, What are your core values and what do you value most in your life. Financially how much do you need to be comfortable and cut back on work, Things to ask yourself.

Maybe now you are not in the right place mentally to decide but you need to take care of you and be kind to yourself, Sounds like you've done great and worked hard and we all ask ourselves if what we are doing and then think ahead and panic.

Having children is not cheap and at times it takes over your life  for a while, you put yourself second it definitely not for the selfish and doing it alone is hard without support and even having a partner does not mean it's easy, You do lose a bit of you when you have a baby and I did find it hard myself. I have friends who have not had children and I sometimes envy their life.

Having a baby you could plan for this, Set aside money to take time off if the time comes that you want a child or to take time off to reset yourself.

My friend works part-time and hires a lovely nanny she pays £11 an hour.

I've recently become sober, I didn't have a drinking problem that was daily but I used alcohol to self medicate, to push myself to work those extra two clients when I was tired or to relax. This was not serving me well and I needed to get unstuck.

If the jobs rake over your life then what can you do differently to change that, Small steps but just having more time to do something you enjoy would give you time to reflect a bit rested and refreshed, Burnout can happen in any job.

Don't let anything rule you let it work for you.