I like it! I like it a lot! Very smart girl 

Whatever you make,maybe you could put ?10 or ?20 aside per week for the kids chritsmas presents? Its not a disaster yet as its only September. But its beginning to sound like you need some time to yourself, I realise its a very difficult time for you.

The classic line "It's not you, it's me ", can actually be quite effective methinks.

Or in this case 'It's not.... no wait, actually it's YOU not me. Bye bye now!

You are right Brandy, I dont know this ladies situation. I worked on the assumption that after several years she may have forged a good relationship with his children. Also I left a long term relationship myself a few years ago. I know its very difficult, I was elated when I finally got shut of him and was able to begin again. I suspect the lady is still at the "tea and sympathy" stage. Cant wait for the "knee him in the b*****ks and chuck him out" stage!

I think this is a big part of my problem - the kids. I have got a good relationship with all 3 of them and it really annoys me when he promises them something then doesn't come up with it. This quote from the eldest, who'll be 15 in Jan, 6 months ago when we went out for lunch just about sums it up:

"Can I tell you something and you won't tell Dad?"
"Yes, you know you can talk to me."
"I love Dad, but I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore. He's made so many promises and he almost always lets us down."

Sometimes I think she's got more sense in her little finger than I have in my whole body! I mean how do you argue ith that, from a 14 year old when you KNOW she's right?? And why can't I get my head round it?

You do not argue against it because you can not argue against a person that twists the truth, uses words cleverly to make you feel guilty/sorry for them.
You simply leave.

It is a form of controlling. After 7 years, he knows you and knows how to use conversation to get at you and it absolutely is controlling you. This row over escorting is because possibly(?) your not listening to him and doing what he wants - stopping. So he uses emotionally charged sentences to make you do exactly what he wants. It's a common way to control a person and is done so subtly sometimes and over such a prolonged period of time, you fail to notice what is really going on.
You can not argue against it.
I would not waste your time thinking 'I shall give him a couple of weeks more' It's pointless.

The hardest thing you will do is break free and walk away. It will test your emotions and your strength of will enormously but once you have had a few weeks away from him and can see the freedom you get, not freedom to go here or there, just the freedom you get from being a little more at peace with yourself, you will wonder why you stayed so long and you will get mad at him and mad at yourself for all that wasted time and sorrow.

Why can you not keep in touch with the children? Do you get along with their mother? If so, have a chat with her, if she is alone with 3 children and you and she get along, perhaps she will be happy to have another person that can take the kids now and again?
If you do not get along with her then remaining with this man as you like his children is silly. They are not your children and you have a responsibility to live the life you want and a right to live a happy life - leave.

Of course, all the advice in the world is useless unless you really, really want to change your life. Until you get to the point where you absolutely can not stomach anymore, nothing will change and you will remain with him and in this situation indefinitely.

He is thinking of himself.
Not you.
Not his children.
160.00 on dope a week? I guess your paying for that? Income support will only pay for him. As the kids do not live with him, it will not pay for them and income support for a single man is no where near 160.00 a week.
So, you lay on your back to pay for your man's drug habit? If you do not, how does he pay for it? Do you pay the bills you guys have? If so then you are supporting his drug habit through laying on your back.  Get out now.

I have sympathy for you but as there are no children between you and him, there is nothing worth fighting for. Not a good enough reason to stay and try to work it all out. Love is not always enough.
You are earning money. You can support yourself so go and live a life, see what else thee is out there for you before you wake up aged 40+ and it's all gone on a looser smoking dope.
x

I see it all the time, so many women staying in the worst possible relationships, because they are afraid to be alone. It is a hold out from traditionally being raised to be a nice girl, grow up and get married, forget our own needs, and stand by your man. What total and utter BS. Girl, this man is a leech, plain and simple. He has a good thing going, and you are it. LEAVE, sooner rather than later.
It will hurt now, but you will get over it and move one to live a better life.