A caller who claimed to have seen me years before and spat his dummy out when I still insisted on a deposit or proof of current address:
"I was one of your first clients, you were thinner then and it was before you got your tits done. I fucked you up the arse"
Oh... Well in that case Mr Manners, forget all I said - racing to give you a much deserved freebie as we speak
(or maybe return the service to his own arse