SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Pink~Princess on 22 April 2014, 11:20:22 am
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So when it comes to me choosing who I meet with, I go on how they come across on the phone like if they sound polite, friendly and if they at least know what they are taking about and I couldn't give a shit about the colour of their skin. If I was to start discriminating against a certain race because of problems I have had with them then I would have to refuse to see white men since the majority of my problems have been with white men so where would it end?
Yes I have had problems with Asian men, black men (only even been with one black man in Glasgow and he was a barebacker) and yes I have had problems with white men from attacks, robberies, threats, abuse, stalking and boundary pushing so really as I say, I choose my client based on how they sound not the colour of their skin.
Now the problem I have with foreign men is that I don't feel comfortable being alone with a complete stranger who I can barely understand and visa versa. I have met a couple in the past who were both boundary pushers and used the language barrier as an excuse but I've had boundary pushers with white men too. Boundary pushing aside, I am a chatty person and feel the atmosphere is very awkward when there's nothing to talk about since you don't really understand each other, theres a cultural difference and also you have nothing in common what so ever so I always avoid men with a foreign accent no matter what they sound like.
So the question is, am I alone here? Or do you guys feel the same? Or are you only interested in the money so don't care what type of situation/atmosphere your in aslong as your safe?
xx
title edited for clarity
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I'd find it very awkward being with a client who couldn't really speak English. Just me, but I don't want misunderstandings. I always insist on speaking to them on the phone before accepting the booking, which I'd decline if I couldn't really understand what they're saying.
If someone is really desperate for money then I guess they have to take almost any client that comes along but I'm thankful that for the moment I'm not in that situation.
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PP, given that this thread is nothing to do with ethnic background and everything to do with both parties being able to communicate with each other effectively, shall we make sure it doesn't degenerate into the former - 'white' and 'foreign' aren't necessarily two different things any more than 'black' (or 'asian') and 'British' are? I've no particular wish to get the number of locked 'I'm not racist but' threads into double figures, but if necessary I can live with it.
As for the question, I won't see anybody whose spoken English is either so poor or so heavily accented that I can't understand them or they can't understand me, because I need to know not only that they've understood my services, fees and so on but also that I'm going to be able to give them directions over the phone without it being a complete disaster. The worst one I ever had was Norwegian, I literally couldn't understand a word he said and was so stressed out by the time he got to the door I was a complete wreck, although to be fair he'd been drinking (which I also didn't realise because I wasn't familiar with his accent) and wasn't taking any notice of what I said.
I've met lots of clients for whom English wasn't a first language, and one thing I have found is that they generally have a better level of it (both written and spoken) than plenty of native English speakers. I hang up the phone on far more Brits for talking total bollocks than I do anybody who maybe just gets a few verbs or tenses back to front.
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Yes Amy you've just out what I was trying to say the correct way but I'm glad you got what I was meaning as it's nothing to do with being racist or not. Just as you said, if their English is poor then it causes all sorts of problems and the awkward science of being alone with someone who's so different culturally to me etc. I hate to turn away what could be a decent person but the language and cultural barrier is what puts me off x
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I make it clear on my profile that have no problems with any race, the same applies to all prospective clients, good manners and respect from them, however I will not go ahead with a booking if the client cannot speak English very well.
Not only does it make it a pain in the arse for directing them but I also think it's potentially dangerous on a booking if they cannot understand what services I am prepared to offer or not as the case ma y be. Its common sense really and not a bigotry thing.
I have had bookings with French,Danish,Swedish,Latvian,Polish and German chaps as well as guys from all over Asia and Africa, they could all speak/and or read English to a high level.
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As Mellissa and Amy say, it doesn't matter where they're from, if I can't understand them and they can't understand me then I won't see them. I don't want to let a stranger into my work place and there be any misunderstandings which could put me at risk.
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Years ago in America I had a German guy pretend to not have good enough english to communicate properly when it came time to talk about money. ::) So I yelled at him in German "I'm not playing! You must give me more money - now!" and he couldn't get his wallet open fast enough. LOL.
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I make it clear on my profile that have no problems with any race, the same applies to all prospective clients, good manners and respect from them, however I will not go ahead with a booking if the client cannot speak English very well.
Not only does it make it a pain in the arse for directing them but I also think it's potentially dangerous on a booking if they cannot understand what services I am prepared to offer or not as the case ma y be. Its common sense really and not a bigotry thing.
I have had bookings with French,Danish,Swedish,Latvian,Polish and German chaps as well as guys from all over Asia and Africa, they could all speak/and or read English to a high level.
This is exactly what I was trying to say and I am glad to see that I'm not the only one with this issues
Your right, it is common sense rather than bigotry or racist x
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Have to say, in my experience......American clients are the best x
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I am a chatty person and feel the atmosphere is very awkward when there's nothing to talk about since you don't really understand each other, theres a cultural difference and also you have nothing in common what so ever so I always avoid men with a foreign accent no matter what they sound like.
If this is true, I think you're really losing out and not just on money. One of my favourite things about the job is meeting lots of different people from different backgrounds and places - those differences make for more to chat about, not less. There's a hell of a leap between refusing somebody you can't understand and turning away everybody who has a 'foreign' accent.
Some of the nicest punters I've met recently have been from Greece, Turkey, Kerala, Finland and France, and that's not even including the folks in Ireland and the States (and explaining to a wide-eyed New Yorker how we get the egg inside a Scotch egg was a moment I wouldn't have missed for anything :)).
Or are you only interested in the money so don't care what type of situation/atmosphere your in aslong as your safe?
I think this is a bit unfair too, to be honest. You can't assume that because you would be uncomfortable in such a situation, anybody who doesn't mind it is 'only interested in the money' and doesn't give a damn about who they see. Some might appreciate the peace and quiet and being able to just get on with it :).
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Amy if I am loosing out then this is why I started the thread, to see it from others point of view. Obviously I am looking into the situation with tunnel vision!
And as I already said, perhaps my wording of this wasn't the best as it's not so much foreign men I have issues with as I have some lovely clients from India who have only been in this country for a year or so and I have a lovely regular French man and there's my clients from America and Dubai etc........it's more to do with foreign men whom I haven't a clue what they are saying but their English is always quite good in an email or text but to speak to is horrendous.
Directions to my flat would be a no-no with someone who doesn't speak good English as Scottish, local men find my place a nightmare as it is.
xx
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I am a chatty person and feel the atmosphere is very awkward when there's nothing to talk about since you don't really understand each other, theres a cultural difference and also you have nothing in common what so ever so I always avoid men with a foreign accent no matter what they sound like.
If this is true, I think you're really losing out and not just on money. One of my favourite things about the job is meeting lots of different people from different backgrounds and places - those differences make for more to chat about, not less. There's a hell of a leap between refusing somebody you can't understand and turning away everybody who has a 'foreign' accent.
Some of the nicest punters I've met recently have been from Greece, Turkey, Kerala, Finland and France, and that's not even including the folks in Ireland and the States (and explaining to a wide-eyed New Yorker how we get the egg inside a Scotch egg was a moment I wouldn't have missed for anything :)).
Or are you only interested in the money so don't care what type of situation/atmosphere your in aslong as your safe?
I think this is a bit unfair too, to be honest. You can't assume that because you would be uncomfortable in such a situation, anybody who doesn't mind it is 'only interested in the money' and doesn't give a damn about who they see. Some might appreciate the peace and quiet and being able to just get on with it :).
I'm the same I love finding about their motherland and cultures during 'downtime'. Some of my most interesting bookings were with French and Danish clients and yes I agree with P.P american guys and Canadian guys are fun. There culture is not an issue, I love hearing about different topics and countries I just can't see people who cannot converse in English.
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It sounds to me as if you are a bit afraid PP. I too can be a bit nervous with someone who sounds culturally different to myself, but this can also be an opportunity to expand horizons and meet some good clients.
Even if someone is from a different culture, or background there is usually something you can find to talk about. Some common ground even if that common ground is not knowing things about each other's lives.
I do however also agree if I can't communicate with someone verbally, then I am not going to accept their booking but that goes for english nationals as much as anyone with any other language as their mother tongue.
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You may well be missing out if you are saying no to people with a bit of an accent. My fave client is from greece and you would love him. Knows bounderies, never likes to run over the time, always clean, super respectful and great conversations.
The thing is even if you are missing out if you feel nervous everytime you speak to someone with an accent it's not a good start to your booking and perhaps it would not go so well if you are nervous? You have to do what you are comfortable doing.
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HHJJ I ain't talking about guys with a bit of an accent, I have tones of clients with a bit of an accent.......I am talking about the ones who I can't understand a word they are saying that phone up and won't take no for an answer x
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I've not come across a foreign client yet, but my Rule would be: if we can comfortably have a conversation on the phone, understand each other, and agree on the fees & services involved in a booking, then I'm willing to see them.
Which is the exact same rule with clients for whom English is their first language! Haha. So many local guys who phone and barely speak, pretend not to know what my fees are, struggle with being told "no", etc. :FF I need to know that a client - wherever he's from, whatever his first language is - understands my services and boundaries before I see him in private.
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I wont see anyone who cannot understand a simple sentence or who I cannot understand. I even refuse deaf people who don't do BSL as communication would be impossible with them
The one time I broke this rule was New Years eve when I saw a deaf client who did not know BSL and I ended up rather badly beaten up
I see a lot fo men who do not speak English as first language but they can speak enough to understand and be understood
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I too don't mind an accent but I wouldn't see someone who I could not clearly understand and who couldn't understand me.
This doesn't just go for someone with a language barrier but also someone who is deaf or has some type of learning disability, I have nothing against them I just would be worried about not being able to communicate with them properly.
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Chrissie, yes I am the same.
Dani, I am really sorry to hear that happened to you. I once had a deaf client give me all sorts of abuse via email and text because I wouldn't see him as he took massive offence (even although I was very polite and sensitive about the whole thing as I didn't want to upset him) saying I was discriminating because of his disability, made me feel really bad but it was really because I need to speak to someone and understand them before inviting them into my home.
I suggested he visited a parlour or an agency but he hold me to go fuck myself.
xx
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I'd find it very awkward being with a client who couldn't really speak English. Just me, but I don't want misunderstandings. I always insist on speaking to them on the phone before accepting the booking, which I'd decline if I couldn't really understand what they're saying.
I am the same, I need to know that they understand me and I understand them, then there is no confusion over something that they may expect to happen that I am not happy with.
Sarah x x x
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Well till today I didnt let poor English get in the way if I could manage to get the guy to my door via the directions and a multitude of amusing phone conversations but after the one who turned up today I have finally had enough. Poor english means no booking. I told him he had to be clean, he had asked for sucking without a condom, he said yes yes when I said clean, very clean penis, he arrived and he absolutely stunk to high freaking heaven. I have never ever smelt a smell like it, as if he was smeared with extreme BV and sour piss. He either didnt understand what I meant or he calls that clean, either way, he want getting in. From now on only people with a certain level of English are going to be allowed bookings because at least that way I know they understand me when I say they have to be clean. I have had enough with poor english speakers, there is always some sort of issue.
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See that's absolutely vile, how can anyone turn up in that state whether they understand you asking them to be clean or not. Turning up filthy a one thing, expecting you to put your mouth around their sour pissy dick is so thoughtless and rude it's unbelievable.
If I was spending that kinda money on an intimate service like that, I'd make sure I was spotless so the escort was happy and comfortable around me to be able to relax and not hold back. But then I'd be spotless anyway as it's standard personal hygiene FFS!
xx
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I had a lovely man from Burma whose spoken English wasn't very confident but read and understood well enough to know what reply to attempt, it made for a quieter booking during the act but one without misunderstandings. So far my only experience of a foreign client and hope to keep them positive wherever the guy is from ;D
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I can see the complications with foreign clients in not being able to communicate with them but...I had a booking in Spain last week, with a guy whom I had cammed with for 2 years, plus fairly regular email contact.
It wasn't until I met him that I realised that other than hello, how are you, he didn't speak a word of English and my Espanol is limited...He was a great guy, we had fun trying to communicate and the language of lust is universal so I never say never... ;)
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I've had a few who literally cannot communicate with me (cue lots of gesticulating on my part) and a load that can barely communicate.
To be honest I don't really mind either, with the latter I just talk at them for like 20mins with no reply, but whatever it's easier than some jobs
And the ones who can't communicate at all don't tend to hang around after so fine by me
ETA I work for an agency so don't talk on the phone
Also it's not always that hard to communicate if you will or won't do something they want without words, I've always gotten by so far