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Author Topic: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.  (Read 12076 times)

Cat_BBW

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #45 on: 22 May 2012, 08:11:13 pm »
I updated my post with what you said before you actually posted this. I don't know how you can say it's not the ideal/better situation to have two parents who are not a rollercoaster two parent family.

I didn't say that at all....? I said "Being a stable, single parent family is much better for your child than a rollercoaster 2-parent family." I was challenging where you stated: "I'm not saying single mums are bad but it's not ideal is it". Being a stable single parent family is FAR better for the child/ren than a unstable 2-parent family.

YES, in an "IDEAL" perfect world, everyone would have 2 loving, emotionally and mentally stable parents. But that's not what I was talking about, and certainly doesn't help the OP.

Kimmy

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #46 on: 24 May 2012, 06:22:42 pm »
You can't have a baby, be an escort, have a boyfriend and keep a double life. Nobody can. Not even wonderwoman. You need to get rid of 2 things from the equation in order to go back to normality and regain your sanity. Which two? You decide.

You can, I worked in a parlour with a girl who had been doing this for years. She's very popular on Manchester scene.

TeenKylie

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #47 on: 24 May 2012, 07:28:33 pm »
You can't have a baby, be an escort, have a boyfriend and keep a double life. Nobody can. Not even wonderwoman. You need to get rid of 2 things from the equation in order to go back to normality and regain your sanity. Which two? You decide.

You can, I worked in a parlour with a girl who had been doing this for years. She's very popular on Manchester scene.
Maybe. But it's hardly a nice life to lead.

katie 84

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #48 on: 24 May 2012, 10:40:51 pm »
You can't have a baby, be an escort, have a boyfriend and keep a double life. Nobody can. Not even wonderwoman. You need to get rid of 2 things from the equation in order to go back to normality and regain your sanity. Which two? You decide.

You can, I worked in a parlour with a girl who had been doing this for years. She's very popular on Manchester scene.
Maybe. But it's hardly a nice life to lead.

So does everyone in your life know what you do Kylie?

ana30

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #49 on: 24 May 2012, 11:40:05 pm »
Katie a lot of us keep our occupations  closeted. It's somehow easy when you're a free and single, but not so easy to hide when in a relationship (any lady here can tell you how nerve-wracking it is and the feelings of guilt that come with it). I mean..being pregnant AND with a non supportive partner is  stressful enough, add the closeted WG girl occupation to the "combo" and it becomes a little bit too much. In fact,  the initial rant of the OP  was about how much all this situation was stressing her and what to do about it. Then she reached the conclusion that the escort job had to go (fair enough and perfectly understandable). kimmy said that there was some lady in Manchester who managed pretty well in this situation, good for her. I also know a woman who's president of a big company, has seven kids and a husband with parkinson disease. I don't know how she does it. She's amazingly organized, gets 4 hours of sleep every night and must have some sort of super human powers. I envy her. And If the OP manages to bring the bread to the table, have a relationship and bring a healthy baby to a stable and loving enviroment  while being happy I'm going to envy her too.
« Last Edit: 25 May 2012, 12:07:28 am by Ana30 »
Mornings were made for sleeping, wild sex and bacon.

TeenKylie

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #50 on: 24 May 2012, 11:47:22 pm »
You can't have a baby, be an escort, have a boyfriend and keep a double life. Nobody can. Not even wonderwoman. You need to get rid of 2 things from the equation in order to go back to normality and regain your sanity. Which two? You decide.

You can, I worked in a parlour with a girl who had been doing this for years. She's very popular on Manchester scene.
Maybe. But it's hardly a nice life to lead.

So does everyone in your life know what you do Kylie?
I don't know why you're asking me like that. My close friends and family do yes why? I would never be in a position where I had to tell such massive lies to the people I love. I'm lucky to have good friends and family that might not agree with it but will always stick by me. I don't believe you get anywhere lying and cheating you're way through life.
« Last Edit: 25 May 2012, 12:05:08 am by MissKylie »

amy

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #51 on: 25 May 2012, 12:14:07 am »
Kylie, it's great that you can be open with your nearest and dearest, but not everybody's situation is like yours and you need to stop making these judgemental posts about people who do things differently to you - have you any idea how some women have been treated when people found out they were prostitutes? How do you think it feels to have somebody go up to your seven year old child and tell her that her mummy has AIDS and will die soon, for example? That happened to somebody I know.

Other people fear a violent reaction from their partners and are only working to try and save up enough money to get themselves and their families well away from them; others hold responsible jobs in areas where sex work is frowned upon to the extent it would result in instant dismissal and the end of a career they may have studied and worked towards for years. Other lucky ladies in some parts of the UK have had their names, addresses and photographs published in their local papers and been hounded from their homes as a result. There is a lot to be said for keeping it to yourself.

I'm not going to repeat the point that Emily has made once already in the last few hours, but can you please read what you've written a little more carefully before pressing the 'Post' button? You are as welcome to contribute to all discussions as everybody else here and we are happy to have you, but you really need to think before making these sweeping statements as there will always be someone who falls into the group you're talking about, and quite understandably gets upset.

TeenKylie

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #52 on: 25 May 2012, 12:19:44 am »
I completely understand what you are saying and I feel for those people I really do. I know everyone's situation is different and I'm not judging anyone. But I'm being asked a question by Katie how do I answer it then? Without being honest? Or do I just not answer it.

And do you remember in my post if you read it on this thread I said that's exactly the sort of thing that could happen to an innocent child if people found out their mum was a prostitute.

I am also an extreamly private person and don't just go shouting it about or telling random people or people where I live for example. I know how narrow minded and judgemental people are, so I would never be stupid enough to put myself in that kind of situation or at risk of being exposed in a way like you said. I keep myself very much to myself. I just think that once you start lying to the people you love it's never going to end well.
« Last Edit: 25 May 2012, 12:34:00 am by MissKylie »

casey_kisses

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #53 on: 25 May 2012, 12:29:47 am »
I completely understand what you are saying and I feel for those people I really do. I know everyone's situation is different and I'm not judging anyone. But I'm being asked a question by Katie how do I answer it then? Without being honest? Or do I just not answer it.

And do you remember in my post if you read it on this thread I said that's exactly the sort of thing that could happen to an innocent child if people found out their mum was a prostitute.

Why don't you just PM Katie?

This isn't what this thread is supposed to be about.

SCG I hope you are coping ok, whatever you choose we are all here to support you. Yes you have some hard choices to make. Maybe be practical about it and write some advantages/disadvantages about your various options. If nothing else it will organise your thoughts better. I think the decision ultimately has to be yours, as you have to live with the consequences. I hope that whatever you choose you and your child will be happy and healthy.

xx
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
- Albus Dumbledore

TeenKylie

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #54 on: 25 May 2012, 12:38:30 am »
I completely understand what you are saying and I feel for those people I really do. I know everyone's situation is different and I'm not judging anyone. But I'm being asked a question by Katie how do I answer it then? Without being honest? Or do I just not answer it.

And do you remember in my post if you read it on this thread I said that's exactly the sort of thing that could happen to an innocent child if people found out their mum was a prostitute.

Why don't you just PM Katie?

This isn't what this thread is supposed to be about.
Exactly it's not, she should have pmed me! But I don't want to start getting into arguments with people via pm either.

TeenKylie

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #55 on: 25 May 2012, 12:50:39 am »
I also hope that SCG makes the right decision for her and her baby and really do wish them well. You have to do what is going to make you happy and what is best for you're baby. Maybe you should find someone you can confined in outside this job SCG that knows you and can give you some first hand advice. I think everyone needs at least one person they can really trust and talk to outside this job.

Good luck xxx

katie 84

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #56 on: 25 May 2012, 01:17:10 am »
Kylie, I have a child, a family who I am on shakey terms with, an ex-husband who would dearly love to screw me over in any way he can, and a boyfriend who I adore. And it's because of these things that I cannot ever tell anyone what I do. As Amy said it's great that you're in a position where you can tell the people who are important to you what you do, but a hell of a lot of us aren't in any such position for various reasons! It's really unfair of you to make such general comments judging those of us who are single parents, or can't tell people what we do! There's enough people that want to judge WGs, and make sweeping generalizations about us without us getting it from someone in a place like this where we should never be judged.


TeenKylie

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #57 on: 25 May 2012, 01:27:27 am »
Look they are just my opinions on the subject. Things that I believe. Fair enough alot of family's would go mental and an ex partner like you said could cause serious trouble. But if I had a boyfriend who I really loved and who loved me for example, I would either just tell them, wouldn't be with them in the first place or I wouldn't do escorting. It's not fair on them either is it? How long can you keep lying to partners ect for? Until you're caught out? It's not good for anyone. I just see things in a differnt way to other people. I really am not judging anyone. We are here to support eachother. I just think people need to realise what they are doing sometimes and it frustrates me. I actually want to help and advise it just comes out in the wrong way sometimes! Lol x

« Last Edit: 25 May 2012, 01:35:52 am by MissKylie »

katie 84

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #58 on: 25 May 2012, 01:30:50 am »
I just hope you never find yourself in the same position that a lot of us are, it's not nice, trust me. x x x x

danae

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Re: finding my double life extremely hard. cant cope.
« Reply #59 on: 25 May 2012, 01:35:23 am »
You?re very lucky Kylie that your family is very accepting of you occupation. I?m the same, I?m blessed to have family that may not jump up and down with joy about the choice I?ve made but love and accept me nonetheless (well as long I don?t completely rub their noses in it and promise not to post any smutty pics online ;D) I think I see the point that you?re trying to make about having to lie to loved ones (i.e that?s it?s not a good idea and must be a heavy emotional emotional burden to bear) but you need to understand that if people feel they can?t disclose their occupation to relatives it?s probably for very good reasons. It is not for us to question that decision or suggest one approach is better than another.
« Last Edit: 25 May 2012, 01:37:01 am by Danae »