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Author Topic: 'Friends' taking advantage  (Read 4193 times)

martine21

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'Friends' taking advantage
« on: 14 July 2014, 03:55:17 pm »
Just a little rant here!

Few of my supposed 'friends' know what I do and have money and don't they just take the friggin p**s!

They little expect me to pay for everything to the point I blew up last night about it! Whether it's pizzas, nights out! Drives me nuts!

Has anyone else found this? Obvs they're not true friends I know but I'm so friggin mad today!!

Rant over!

x

Jessica2017

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #1 on: 14 July 2014, 04:04:06 pm »
I don't tell my friends about what I do as I think some of them would try to take advantage.

Personally I wouldn't enjoy being an ATM for my friends unless they were short on rent/had no food but if they expected me to pay for nights out and takeaways for them I would just block them and ignore any requests to meet up.  Obviously with my best friend I will buy her coffee when we meet up but she wouldn't let me pay for anything if it costs over ?5/?10.

When you go out with them can't you put down the cost of your meal/drinks down in cash on the table which should make it clear to them you aren't paying for their meals/drinks?

You could always say you left your debit card at home and also point out how hard you work for your money as they probably don't understand how hard and tiring it can be.

Xx

Lady_Lust_XXX

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #2 on: 14 July 2014, 04:43:40 pm »
Martine, it is par for the course.

STOP paying for them.  Your "fair weather" friends which is what they are will dwindle away when they do you will find your true friends.

Good luck.  I hope you manage to find your true friends soon and can relax more.

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It is about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart,
And most importantly a beautiful soul.

The_Lynx

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #3 on: 14 July 2014, 04:50:45 pm »
All of my friends are aware of what I do, and none of them turned parasitic. One of them was fairly apprehensive about accepting a large birthday present, as a matter of fact. One started borrowing money from me (perpetually unemployed type, possibly bad with finances, hard to tell), but there are no expectations nor any pressure involved, and he used to buy me stuff when I was worse off than him. Most of my social circle is happy to share resources, rather than keeping stuff to themselves or trying to mooch.

Nia Hope

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #4 on: 14 July 2014, 05:24:24 pm »
I can totally relate to that, a friend of 25 years asked to borrow ?500 and I never saw or heard from her again! I am chasing her though,

Never again will I lend money to anyone x
If something is not perceived it doesn't exist.

Caledonia

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #5 on: 14 July 2014, 06:02:02 pm »
Next time you go out to eat with them, at the end put down enough money to cover yours say "Thats for mine, I need to go" and get straight up and leave.

Or if out for drinks make a thing about everyone having a turn at buying a round, then if none of them will buy just go and buy one for yourself.

If they don't get the hint from those then I would seriously think about dropping them.

Ah just noticed you said you blew up at them.
« Last Edit: 14 July 2014, 06:06:57 pm by ChrissieDavaar »

martine21

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #6 on: 14 July 2014, 06:02:47 pm »
I can totally relate to that, a friend of 25 years asked to borrow ?500 and I never saw or heard from her again! I am chasing her though,

Never again will I lend money to anyone x

They seem to think that our cash is disposable that we don't have to do much for our money, so they're entitled to it in some way! Very very angry. She's bang out of order Nia.

Admittedly me going mad last night was abit out of the blue for them but when I seem to paying for peoples good times every week IT WILL grate eventually.

I doubt they'd do half what we do for our cash!

Might as well rebrand myself 'MARTINES MONIES!'

Rather have no friends than fake friends :/

x

BBW_Cora

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #7 on: 14 July 2014, 06:20:10 pm »
I lent someone ?1600 with an agreement that he would be paying me back at ?150 a month, he was in a bad way with being off work sick and I trusted him. I've had 1 payment of ?60 over a year ago (and that was a year after I'd lent it to him)..so 2 years on and I'm ?1540 down because I trusted my friend to pay me back.

I enjoy being generous with my money WHEN I have it and enjoy treating friends and family to the odd meal out but then I know they don't expect me to be paying for everything and will often return the favours :) If your friends are taking advantage you could always explain to them that although you might earn much more per hour, you certainly don't work 8 hours a day so the money is relative and your income might be less than they expected. When some people hear that you are paid ?100-150 an hour, they neglect to understand that you might only be doing 1-2 a day. :)
..Some would say I am selling my body but I know I am selling so much more than that..

Nia Hope

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #8 on: 14 July 2014, 06:31:55 pm »
I can totally relate to that, a friend of 25 years asked to borrow ?500 and I never saw or heard from her again! I am chasing her though,

Never again will I lend money to anyone x

They seem to think that our cash is disposable that we don't have to do much for our money, so they're entitled to it in some way! Very very angry. She's bang out of order Nia.

Admittedly me going mad last night was abit out of the blue for them but when I seem to paying for peoples good times every week IT WILL grate eventually.

I doubt they'd do half what we do for our cash!

Might as well rebrand myself 'MARTINES MONIES!'

Rather have no friends than fake friends :/

x

Exactly! What I do to earn my money is hard work! I thought someone I'd been friends with for 25 years wouldn't take the piss, I've learnt my lesson now.

In your case as another poster said just put your money in and don't feel like you're being tight or mean, you need to allow for a day when maybe you're not earning mega money, I save like mad so flashing cash around is not a good idea x
If something is not perceived it doesn't exist.

ChloeClouds

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #9 on: 14 July 2014, 06:39:25 pm »
How rude! If I knew a friend earnt more than me I still wouldn't just expect them to pay for me... To me it's always just the norm for everyone to pay an equal amount regardless of salary!
Chloe x

happyhappyjoyjoy

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #10 on: 14 July 2014, 07:24:52 pm »
This is sometimes the problem with being kind and generous is people take advantage whether they mean to or not. My boyfriend used to be designated driver every week. It was just assumed he would be driving.

I have sometimes been guilty of taking people for granted (not nice I know) genuinely didn't think I was taking advantage until the person would say they've had enough. It's good you told then if they are true  they will take what you said and change how they act. I know that's what I did.

Bluetits

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #11 on: 15 July 2014, 01:19:13 am »
I had a friend of many years who knew what I did who I often gave clothes to, a bit of money and furniture who then helped herself to some of my jewellery. I had a client and she waited downstairs and that?s when she must?ve taken it. 2 days later I went to the jewellery draw and 2 rings and a bracelet were gone. I was so shocked as it was sentimental and she knew that and they were valuable. When i confronted her she said it must be a client. I had 3 clients in that time period and my jewellery draw is kept downstairs, clients don?t even pass it when they go to the bedroom. She took it as she thought she could then blame a client and get away with it. She then said at the end "I'm surprised you missed it the amount you earn". I work from home hardly tour so am not really high earning and so what if I was anyway!! Some of them are jealous I think.

In general paying for little treats is a kind gesture I think but it's a cheek when they ask for big loans and I wouldn?t.

tvhappiness

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #12 on: 15 July 2014, 08:00:57 am »
I know the feeling. When I told my friend, she good as told me I was going to pay for  a deposit on a house!!!! Like how much money do these people think we earn? They seem to forget we have expenses to pay and tax and end up just above a normal wage. Anyways, I had a chat and made it clear everything is 50/50 and if she needs money she should ask her bf or become an escort herself. That always makes them go quiet  :D

Caledonia

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #13 on: 15 July 2014, 09:10:55 am »
As well as not realising that we don't work 8-12hrs 5/6 days a week, they don't seem to realise that we are self employed, so we don't get sick leave or whatever if we have to take some time off, or that it's up to us to sort out our pension plan if we want a good pension when we hit retirement age.

shatteredpan

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Re: 'Friends' taking advantage
« Reply #14 on: 15 July 2014, 10:43:11 pm »
Ick, yeah, I would drop your 'friends'. Real friends don't use people as ATMs :/
Honestly, I haven't run into this much, as most of my friends know that just because I'm an escort doesn't mean I'm rolling around in cash. However, I did have one friend (an ex-escort, actually) who was constantly asking me to throw him large amounts of money to cover unspecified things. I would continually tell him 'no' and that I was just barely covering bills (plus, he OWED me money) and his response was, "That's fine, I understand. Hey, throw me 20 when you get a chance, thanks."

Um.... no.

Honestly, people like this will always be trying to get money out of you no matter what you do for work. It's better to just not have them around. If they're gonna drop you because you aren't paying for THEIR bills, then good riddance to them, I say :/