She phoned my mum up all in a moral outrage because she'd been informed by an 'anonymous email' that her sister was a prostitute. <snip!>
My mum was basically all, "Yeah, I know, she told me" which probably wasn't what she wanted to hear.
Nice one!
Seems you've got there before your sister did.
A while ago I did some amateur porn. A few bookings with horny guys equipped with their compact video cameras. Interestingly, I didn't see what I was doing as prostitution or classed myself as a Whore. Since I was "only making videos" and thus, was NOT having "sex for money"
Yes, it was quite some time ago.
I guess it takes a bit of self examination to understand where your own prejudice, client's ways of pushing your boundaries and societal beliefs meet and end. Perhaps it takes a journey before one can say "I'm a Whore" and "I don't care what potential clients/boyfriends/friends/society etc think of me".
I can also see that if you work in one segment of the sex industry (and yes, being a fetish model IS working in the sex industry, regardless whether you have sex or not), that it's easy to get prejudiced about more explicit ways of working. This attitude certainly prevails amongst some fetishy work I was doing earlier and I think it stems from fear: If one girl starts to offer "extras" then the men will try to get every other model to agree to it as well.
See, this is the problem with far too many men. It seems that no matter what boundaries you set, too many of them seem to be hellbent on trying to push them. When I was doing my former fetishy work, I thought that once I became an Escort (and thus would agree to have sex), clients wouldn't have reasons to push any more boundaries.
How
wrong I was...
In fact it seems to me that the more stuff you offer, the more boundaries some of them will try to push. Or perhaps it doesn't matter what boundaries you state, as some men will push them regardless. If it's not trying to get you to have sex with them (when you don't offer it), then it's trying to get you to do OWO. If it's not OWO, then A level. If it's not A levels then "can you see me right now, I'm right at the other end of London?". Or price haggling. Or bare back...
I think the soundest antidote to all this is to hold your ground and recognise their behaviour for the attention seeking, nappy wearing, mummy-look-at-me tantrums that they really are. Which takes time to do. Especially when you're learning the ropes yourself, and still exploring your OWN boundaries.
I believe the most crucial thing we need to be doing is to really
question the choices we make. For instance:
- Do we really want to give OWO? Or is it simply because so many Pnet reviews feature Escort who do, that we feel the need to comply with some punters ideas of what constitutes a great booking?
I can see why some other sex workers object to let's say the porn industry. It isn't because they necessarily think having sex in front of a camera is dirty. But because it seems bounderless. Why else would women (and men) agree to bareback sex, despite knowing that a "certificate" won't protect anyone from HIV? What are their choices based on? Their own needs - or the needs of their (boundary pushing) producers?
And I believe same attitude is held against Escorts. As you only need to look at AW to see ladies advertising bareback sex with complete (and not even tested) strangers.
Whatever I do in life - I try to question my motives. That so I can do what's in my power to work according to my own rules, and not somebody else's. It may not make others drop their prejudices. But it sure inspires me walk with my head held high.
SnakeLady