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Author Topic: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"  (Read 6019 times)

Steele

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"Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« on: 06 April 2010, 07:56:26 pm »
My mum just got a phone call today  ;D

As I've mentioned before, I told all my family and friends as soon as I started escorting. It was an easy decision for me and the simplest way for me to go about it, I know it's not that way for everyone but it worked out just fine.

I didn't include my two sisters in 'family and friends' seeing as I consider them neither. We haven't spoken in getting on for two years now and they don't live anywhere near me.

A little background on the younger of the two - she is a fetish model. Despite appearing in videos and photo galleries definitely intended to be erotic, she considers herself far above the sex industry. I remember hanging out with her and a photographer a few years back hearing her slagging off porn performers for what they choose to do for money. You can probably see why we don't get on too well  ::)

She phoned my mum up all in a moral outrage because she'd been informed by an 'anonymous email' that her sister was a prostitute. She thought the best thing to do, of course, was to go around telling the world about it because she was so worried and concerned that my parents would be stressed (which they definitely wouldn't be if they didn't know, of course).

My mum was basically all, "Yeah, I know, she told me" which probably wasn't what she wanted to hear.

I'm kind of interested about the source of the anonymous email (if it even exists - more likely she googled my real name to check up on me and found a blog post, a facebook update, or something similar which mentions my job) but other than that this shit doesn't harm me any. I am mildly pissed off though as for all she knew (in fact, she obviously assumed this) I was keeping it a secret from my parents and her telling them could have caused all kinds of problems and drama.

Yay for bitchy siblings  ;D
Previously known as Krystal Champagne

Classie

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #1 on: 06 April 2010, 09:52:35 pm »
Hilarious!

That's great that you told your parents about your job, so they did not get shocked when they got the call. Your sister must be shocked, would like to see her face when she heard your mom knows... :D

Alexxx

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #2 on: 06 April 2010, 09:59:22 pm »
Ahh sisterly love.......  :-\

Thank goodness you'd already told your mum. I'll never be able to get my head around sisters spitefullness. Mine is the same. She'd drop me in it at the drop of a hat. We're definately not cut from the same cloth.

Hope it hasn't affected you too much x

SnakeLady

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #3 on: 07 April 2010, 05:13:55 am »
She phoned my mum up all in a moral outrage because she'd been informed by an 'anonymous email' that her sister was a prostitute. <snip!>

My mum was basically all, "Yeah, I know, she told me" which probably wasn't what she wanted to hear.

Nice one!  ;D
Seems you've got there before your sister did.

A while ago I did some amateur porn. A few bookings with horny guys equipped with their compact video cameras. Interestingly, I didn't see what I was doing as prostitution or classed myself as a Whore. Since I was "only making videos" and thus, was NOT having "sex for money" ::) Yes, it was quite some time ago.

I guess it takes a bit of self examination to understand where your own prejudice, client's ways of pushing your boundaries and societal beliefs meet and end. Perhaps it takes a journey before one can say "I'm a Whore" and "I don't care what potential clients/boyfriends/friends/society etc think of me".

I can also see that if you work in one segment of the sex industry (and yes, being a fetish model IS working in the sex industry, regardless whether you have sex or not), that it's easy to get prejudiced about more explicit ways of working. This attitude certainly prevails amongst some fetishy work I was doing earlier and I think it stems from fear: If one girl starts to offer "extras" then the men will try to get every other model to agree to it as well.

See, this is the problem with far too many men. It seems that no matter what boundaries you set, too many of them seem to be hellbent on trying to push them. When I was doing my former fetishy work, I thought that once I became an Escort (and thus would agree to have sex), clients wouldn't have reasons to push any more boundaries.

How wrong I was...  :-X

In fact it seems to me that the more stuff you offer, the more boundaries some of them will try to push. Or perhaps it doesn't matter what boundaries you state, as some men will push them regardless. If it's not trying to get you to have sex with them (when you don't offer it), then it's trying to get you to do OWO. If it's not OWO, then A level. If it's not A levels then "can you see me right now, I'm right at the other end of London?". Or price haggling. Or bare back...

I think the soundest antidote to all this is to hold your ground and recognise their behaviour for the attention seeking, nappy wearing, mummy-look-at-me tantrums that they really are. Which takes time to do. Especially when you're learning the ropes yourself, and still exploring your OWN boundaries.

I believe the most crucial thing we need to be doing is to really question the choices we make. For instance:
 
  • Do we really want to give OWO? Or is it simply because so many Pnet reviews feature Escort who do, that we feel the need to comply with some punters ideas of what constitutes a great booking?

I can see why some other sex workers object to let's say the porn industry. It isn't because they necessarily think having sex in front of a camera is dirty. But because it seems bounderless. Why else would women (and men) agree to bareback sex, despite knowing that a "certificate" won't protect anyone from HIV? What are their choices based on? Their own needs - or the needs of their (boundary pushing) producers?

And I believe same attitude is held against Escorts. As you only need to look at AW to see ladies advertising bareback sex with complete (and not even tested) strangers.

Whatever I do in life - I try to question my motives. That so I can do what's in my power to work according to my own rules, and not somebody else's. It may not make others drop their prejudices. But it sure inspires me walk with my head held high.

 :) SnakeLady
« Last Edit: 07 April 2010, 05:21:53 am by SnakeLady »
Prostitution - now I want it my way.
Or no way.

Mango

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #4 on: 07 April 2010, 10:04:30 am »
Snakelady, I think I heart you.

I always wonder how people in other parts of sex work think about us. I was never interested in anything but escorting, so I never tried anything else. I did used to read a blog of a pole dancer that insisted she'd never sleep with clients. I also have a friend that is a (female) pornographer, but I've never breached the subject with her. Maybe I should, it would be great to have somebody to talk to about this, but the backlash can be so big, the risk might be too great.

Violette

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #5 on: 07 April 2010, 10:30:39 am »
Got one of those myself, a bitchy sis. God I love them.  :o
« Last Edit: 07 April 2010, 11:12:04 am by Violette »

amy

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #6 on: 07 April 2010, 10:55:17 am »
 Can we keep it on topic folks, please?

Anyone unsure what the topic is, please revisit the OP (I'm on Blackberry and can't post links). Anyone wanting to rant about how feckless, stupid and evil the entire male species is, start another thread. Apart from anything else, Krystal's post was entirely about women.

And back on topic, Krystal, your sister sounds ike a thoroughly nasty piece of work. It doesn't sound like you'll have any trouble rising above it, mind :)
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Mango

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #7 on: 07 April 2010, 01:17:35 pm »
Can we keep it on topic folks, please?

Anyone unsure what the topic is, please revisit the OP (I'm on Blackberry and can't post links). Anyone wanting to rant about how feckless, stupid and evil the entire male species is, start another thread. Apart from anything else, Krystal's post was entirely about women.

And back on topic, Krystal, your sister sounds ike a thoroughly nasty piece of work. It doesn't sound like you'll have any trouble rising above it, mind :)

Is it possible you got your threads mixed up? Krystal talks about her sister and how she feels above the sex industry, I can't see a reply that doesn't have anything to do with it.  (as Snakelady's reply talks about she used to feel like Krystal's sister does now)
Also don't see anything about 'feckless, stupid and evil of the entire male species'.

amy

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #8 on: 07 April 2010, 01:59:03 pm »
Can we keep it on topic folks, please?

Anyone unsure what the topic is, please revisit the OP (I'm on Blackberry and can't post links). Anyone wanting to rant about how feckless, stupid and evil the entire male species is, start another thread. Apart from anything else, Krystal's post was entirely about women.

And back on topic, Krystal, your sister sounds ike a thoroughly nasty piece of work. It doesn't sound like you'll have any trouble rising above it, mind :)

Is it possible you got your threads mixed up? Krystal talks about her sister and how she feels above the sex industry, I can't see a reply that doesn't have anything to do with it.  (as Snakelady's reply talks about she used to feel like Krystal's sister does now)
Also don't see anything about 'feckless, stupid and evil of the entire male species'.

No, I can assure you I have not got anything mixed up, although I was not specifically referring to your post. I read Krystal's thread starter as relating to her feelings about being deliberately and particularly spitefully outed by a family member, and the snobbish and discriminatory attitudes that exist among workers in different parts of the industry - not from the punters. Somehow this got onto OWO, boundary pushing and the usual about how it is all men's fault, and if you want to pick holes because I am posting from a phone and cannot easily quote or add links then go right ahead.
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Steele

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #9 on: 07 April 2010, 02:45:27 pm »
I could happily rant about men who think they can push boundaries, and I do have some pretty strongly held opinions on the OWO thing, but I can pretty confidently say my sister doesn't look down on escorts because of being asked for 'extras' - she's a born and raised Christian and is against sex outside of monogamy. Because she doesn't have -actual sex- with anyone other than her partner she gets a free pass through a pretty tight loophole. The fact that she's providing a sexual service to hundreds or even thousands of men via the internet doesn't 'count' to her, nor does the fact that she's having very sexual interaction with lots of paying clients for photo and film work.

But, SnakeLady's post is awesome and does pretty much sum up how stupid the snobbery is between different parts of the sex industry. I do a little porn (they pay me and make a little money off it themselves but I wouldn't class it as professional, it's very amateur style and I follow all my usual rules regarding protection), I escort, I have done a little fetish modeling and I would be happy to be a stripper if I thought I had anywhere near the skill for it! I have never understood why people (particularly often, women) feel the need to judge each other on what we are or are not willing to do, and are or are not willing to do for money.

As for how I'm feeling, more amused than anything. I do indeed wish I could have seen her face when she realized that no one was going to join her one (or possibly two, if she gets sister #2 involved) woman crusade against prostitution. I doubt the anonymous email thing is real, and if it is it's more likely to be someone she knows than someone I know (none of my friends even know her name, I don't talk about her much after all, haha). And although I was mildly pissed off to find out what she'd been up to, I know better than to be surprised by her by now.
Previously known as Krystal Champagne

cindy

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #10 on: 07 April 2010, 02:52:32 pm »
It makes me wonder if the OP didnt half expect it, then thought it wise to pre-empt her sis by telling her parents herself. Maybe thinking it could be a possibility? Siblings cant do as much damage to you if thier spite is at least predictable. I dont know your sis but mine certainly likes to take centre stage when on an attention seeking mission!
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EmilyJones

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #11 on: 07 April 2010, 04:36:32 pm »
[...] And although I was mildly pissed off to find out what she'd been up to, I know better than to be surprised by her by now.

I'm glad to hear it's been a mildly amusing experience rather than a mega-stressful one - I don't think any escort would say they need more of the latter than already seem to come with the job. And it's sad but true that immature/attention-seeking behaviour from some people in life just gets so old after a while that you can't even bring yourself to be surprised! It can still be almightily wearing, though, so possibly keep an eye on the old stress levels anyway, just in case.
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UrbaneAspects

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #12 on: 08 April 2010, 07:12:59 am »
Because she doesn't have -actual sex- with anyone other than her partner she gets a free pass through a pretty tight loophole. The fact that she's providing a sexual service to hundreds or even thousands of men via the internet doesn't 'count' to her, nor does the fact that she's having very sexual interaction with lots of paying clients for photo and film work.

I know blood is thicker than water (the water being us here at SAAFE) but your sister is a hippo-critter. If what she's doing is so innocent, let all the wives do what she is doing and see how happy their husbands would be  ::)

And I'll never get it but, how the FUCK is porn legal but 'prosititution' here isn't? You're still getting paid for sex!  >:(  Again, hypocrites.

Anyone wanting to rant about how feckless, stupid and evil the entire male species is, start another thread.

Thanks for giving me the permission to do so  ;)




Steele

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #13 on: 08 April 2010, 12:59:06 pm »
To me, blood is not thicker than water at all! I choose my family. The people I am related to by blood who accept and love me as I am get to stay, as do some of the great friends I've made who I didn't even know this time two years ago! My sisters don't count.
Previously known as Krystal Champagne

Richard

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Re: "Do you know your daughter is a prostitute?"
« Reply #14 on: 08 April 2010, 05:50:55 pm »
The fact that she's providing a sexual service to hundreds or even thousands of men via the internet doesn't 'count' to her, nor does the fact that she's having very sexual interaction with lots of paying clients for photo and film work.

I have a dream, that one day everyone who's in the business of moving semen six inches will stop looking down on others doing the same thing another way.