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Author Topic: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"  (Read 12692 times)

BBW Joi Parker

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"Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« on: 05 April 2015, 02:00:43 am »
This line of work can be a lot to deal with by yourself. I try to make friends so I can have someone to talk to but idek if I can trust anyone. Do any of you have friends in the industry? How did you make them? How do you know they'll keep ALL your secrets
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alice842

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #1 on: 05 April 2015, 02:38:12 am »
I do ;D I have a good friend whom I met at a FFM booking with a client and we were chatting afterwards and then bumped into each other at sex workers breakfasts. We do duo bookings together now as well.

I have met up with a couple of people from twitter. They're all great and people I know I'll get on with because we have similar views on things like feminism, sex worker's rights, LGBTQ issues etc. Quite a lot of them are involved in sex worker activism as well.

I'm fairly open with most people though. The only people I wouldn't want to find out would be future employers (which is why I blur my face in photos) and my parents - although even if they found out I think they'd be okay with it as long as I was safe and happy. My partner knows about my job and is supportive - I've told a few of his friends and a few of my friends know as well. Everyone I've told has been someone who I've known for certain wouldn't have an issue with it.

Fabulassie

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #2 on: 05 April 2015, 09:49:23 am »
I do have some good friends. Two of them I've known long enough to trust completely - the three of us spend quite a bit of time together and I feel like I know what they'd do in any given situation (i.e., they won't fuck me over.) We know one another's real names, etc.

 There are a couple of others I've met that I think are lovely and have no reason to distrust and I quite like them and am willing to spend more time with. None of us know one another's real names, I don't think, but there's no real rush to share those details.

To my thinking, there are different levels of trust. I have relatively little at risk in terms of being outed by anyone. That's not my issue. None of the women I know and like seem inclined to be malicious and I don't see them doing anything stupid like trying to fuck up my reputation with clients. (I have heard tales of jealousy along those lines.)

The final level is more in terms of what sort of person they'd be if it came to loaning money or something like that - general flakiness Would I share a flat with them, trust them to turn up for a shared tour, etc. None of these women seem flakey but I can't really say for sure. Have heard many a tale of a girl fucking over another for rent or something when they thought they knew them very well. That is something you just can't know about a person until you know them very well indeed and people are frequently surprised when someone they thought they knew does a runner with rent or whatever. I certainly have no reason to doubt any of the ladies I'm friendly with, but prossies are often a bit unstable and it wouldn't shock me if I were to, say, pay for a two-bedroom serviced flat and the other girl flaked out leaving me to pay for the whole thing. Those things happen.

Miss K xXx

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #3 on: 05 April 2015, 11:46:01 am »
I use this forum to chat to others in the same boat whether we have a clash of opinions or not as I think it's always good to chat because the job definitely is isolating if your family and friends don't know HOWEVER, I learnt very early on not to trust other working girls. I had my fingers seriously brunt and nearly lost everything. Never again.

I've even had problems (silly drama) with 1 or 2 ladies I've gotten particular close to through forums that's caused me nothing but bother when all I've ever tried to do is help or be supportive but when they turn on me, I ain't no doormat and try not to take any shit but now I just don't bother my arse getting close to anyone in this game escort wise in any way, shape or forum.

I have a few very good clients that I also class as friends who I do trust though.

xx
« Last Edit: 05 April 2015, 11:48:33 am by Miss K xXx »

MissCurtis

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #4 on: 05 April 2015, 01:20:52 pm »
I haven't met other WG's yet in real life. Maybe soon. Part of it might have something to do with me being overly cautious.

Fabulassie

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #5 on: 05 April 2015, 01:33:56 pm »
I haven't met other WG's yet in real life. Maybe soon. Part of it might have something to do with me being overly cautious.

Being cautious is smart. On the other hand, other girls can be an invaluable source of information - especially if touring. I have gotten info on London venues far beyond what I've read on this board from girls I've met with in London.

If you meet in a coffee shop and stick to working names only, it is relatively risk free. You can suss a person out  and decide if you'd like to become closer friends. But you can be pretty friendly with someone in a coffee date sort of way without revealing too much about yourself and it's a lot of fun.

MissCurtis

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #6 on: 05 April 2015, 01:37:58 pm »
I haven't met other WG's yet in real life. Maybe soon. Part of it might have something to do with me being overly cautious.

Being cautious is smart. On the other hand, other girls can be an invaluable source of information - especially if touring. I have gotten info on London venues far beyond what I've read on this board from girls I've met with in London.

If you meet in a coffee shop and stick to working names only, it is relatively risk free. You can suss a person out  and decide if you'd like to become closer friends. But you can be pretty friendly with someone in a coffee date sort of way without revealing too much about yourself and it's a lot of fun.

This is true. I've onlly been escorting a year and a bit so that's one reason I'm cautious.  A touring buddy would be good. Your suggestion isound.is good. 
   

SelenaLondon

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #7 on: 05 April 2015, 01:55:46 pm »
I've had only good experiences with my fellow WG and they make wonderful friends.

There is good and BAD in all occupations  :)

Miss K xXx

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #8 on: 05 April 2015, 03:38:14 pm »
I've had only good experiences with my fellow WG and they make wonderful friends.

There is good and BAD in all occupations  :)

There is good and bad in all walks of life and all occupations but other people in other occupations don't then go and out you (expose you) to your family and friends.

If an escort doesn't get her way or looses the plot like many do over the slightest little thing, they always have a hold over you to use as blackmail. I'm speaking from experience here.

I was far too trusting with my real name and details and let's just say that becuase I couldn't handle another escorts drinking and coke taking (which turned them into aggressive, argumentative and violent head cases)......I ended up almost loosing everything.

I did loose one person that will never ever look at me the same again which I've had to live with this past 3 years.

nachos

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #9 on: 05 April 2015, 03:56:46 pm »
Im lucky I have known my escort friends since before we became escorts. So I trust them completely in this respect.

Unfortunately we are now in different parts of UK and hardly get to see each other at all.

I would love to make new WG friends who are local to me, but I guess I will have to exercise caution, I think I'm far too trusting and open as a person :)

Dani

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #10 on: 05 April 2015, 07:35:03 pm »
There are some lovely women out there in this industry and some not so lovely women just like in any other job.  Why not contact a few who seem like they may have similar views to you and make friends that way.  Talk about work with them as in the ups and down but DONT talk about anything you wouldn't want the whole world knowing.  simply because you wouldn't know them well enough to trust them with details you want kept secret.  Its not even about them being WGs but you don't tell anyone secrets unless you have known them for years and they have earned your trust. 

I have female escort friends who know a fair bit about my life but they don't know anything I wouldn't tell anyone as although we are friends I don't know them well enough to trust them with intimate details.  Same with a few of my male friends, I know them quite well and we have been friends for 8 years but I still don't know them well enough to trust them with details I don't want everyone to know

Keep things like that for family and long time friends.  I have been burned by trusting a couple of escorts over the years and have a lot of money stolen (Money I had saved for 8months). I have almost lost my work flat due to another turning up drunk and screaming at the neighbours and found another who had begged me to promote her to my clients as she had no work and I was off for a month as had been in hospital who then went and told these clients everything I had said about them as well as telling them I had an STI and refused to get it treated (thankfully these guys rang me to tell me as they didn't believe I would work if I had an STI).

Its easy to make escort friends but don't be in a rush to trust anyone and always remember they may see you as competition even if you don't appeal to the same type of men
Truth is far more important than what one wants to hear. With truth there is no us and them or colour or religion there is just fact

firsttimer

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #11 on: 05 April 2015, 08:27:31 pm »
My best friend is an escort, but we didn't know when we met- which led to much hilarity when we found out. We talk about everything, and I s'pose we're more like sisters now.
My other closest friend I met on the job, and she has since given up and is in a relationship.

Met a few girls through duos and forums who have become good mates too, it's alway fun to head out with people who really 'get' you.

I've fallen foul of a few girls now who weren't independant and really lashed out as I became more successful within my area and refused to go back to being in a working flat  :(

Always stay wary, unless you really know someone is there for you. I think we work in one of the most (for some people) competitive industries about, and some people don't take kindly to other's on their 'turf'  >:(

Erotic flower

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #12 on: 06 April 2015, 12:31:38 pm »
Ive been fucked over more in the civvy jobs ive had by people than in this industry.
Ive encountered support kindness and helpfulness on here and outside the forum with girls ive chatted with on the phone too.   

Velor

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #13 on: 06 April 2015, 03:29:37 pm »
I do have some good friends. Two of them I've known long enough to trust completely - the three of us spend quite a bit of time together and I feel like I know what they'd do in any given situation (i.e., they won't fuck me over.) We know one another's real names, etc.

 There are a couple of others I've met that I think are lovely and have no reason to distrust and I quite like them and am willing to spend more time with. None of us know one another's real names, I don't think, but there's no real rush to share those details.

To my thinking, there are different levels of trust. I have relatively little at risk in terms of being outed by anyone. That's not my issue. None of the women I know and like seem inclined to be malicious and I don't see them doing anything stupid like trying to fuck up my reputation with clients. (I have heard tales of jealousy along those lines.)

The final level is more in terms of what sort of person they'd be if it came to loaning money or something like that - general flakiness Would I share a flat with them, trust them to turn up for a shared tour, etc. None of these women seem flakey but I can't really say for sure. Have heard many a tale of a girl fucking over another for rent or something when they thought they knew them very well. That is something you just can't know about a person until you know them very well indeed and people are frequently surprised when someone they thought they knew does a runner with rent or whatever. I certainly have no reason to doubt any of the ladies I'm friendly with, but prossies are often a bit unstable and it wouldn't shock me if I were to, say, pay for a two-bedroom serviced flat and the other girl flaked out leaving me to pay for the whole thing. Those things happen.

You spoke my exact feelings on sharing a flat.
I tend to trust people however I've been let down quite a few times. I tend to treat others as I would like to be treated ( sounds cliche but true) anyhow this has lead me to keep low and just do my stuff alone I have a few working girls I'm in touch with to call them friends not quite ,acquaintances yes. I still dream of finding that perfect escort friend whose impeccable with their word , for now my sister is all I tell and I know she has my back I keep hoping my sister could join this, it would be fabulous as she's my true best friend. I do believe there are many genuinely nice girls out there but the nice ones are scared and keep to themselves too 😱

Velor

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Re: "Aint no friends in the game you aint learn that yet"
« Reply #14 on: 06 April 2015, 03:31:27 pm »
I use this forum to chat to others in the same boat whether we have a clash of opinions or not as I think it's always good to chat because the job definitely is isolating if your family and friends don't know HOWEVER, I learnt very early on not to trust other working girls. I had my fingers seriously brunt and nearly lost everything. Never again.

I've even had problems (silly drama) with 1 or 2 ladies I've gotten particular close to through forums that's caused me nothing but bother when all I've ever tried to do is help or be supportive but when they turn on me, I ain't no doormat and try not to take any shit but now I just don't bother my arse getting close to anyone in this game escort wise in any way, shape or forum.

I have a few very good clients that I also class as friends who I do trust though.

xx

Hugs x
Always happens to the nice ones :(